"I don't have any hotels in California," he says, "and the place is already full of wetbacks anyway. The way they want to keep their backs wet night and day is the main reason California has been in serious drought for the last couple of years, so let them have it.
"Utah, Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico are completely deserted, apart from Vegas, of course, where the main attraction is my hotel.
"But that's okay, we'll just make Vegas a special district, like Washington DC is a district of Columbia.
"Except we'll make it Vegas DT, District of Trumpia, and they can have all the rest. As for Texas ... Texas is the home state of that weirdo Ted Cruz. Need I say more?"
OK, the above scenario is a bit crazy, even though it's hard to lampoon a figure like The Donald who makes a fine job of caricaturing himself.
But the scary thing is that while the circus roadshow that is the American presidential primary contest takes centre stage, it's not a patch on the on-going craziness that continues to malevolently haunt the wings.
The Pentagon is preparing plans to revise the maintenance and upgrading of its vast nuclear arsenal, tentatively pencilling in about a trillion US dollars for this bit of housekeeping.
Remember, this is for an arsenal that can never be used, it is there just for its "deterrent" value. The arsenal is made up of what's known as the triad; nuclear warheads that can be launched by a triple-header choice of submarine, airstrike, or from land-based sites.
The burning question is, how much of a deterrent do you need?
All of these missiles have multiple warheads. A typical nuclear submarine can carry some 20 missiles. Just one of these submarines (of which there are a dozen), given its multiple warheads, has the capacity to take out life as we know it on our fragile planet.
All that the excess payload does is exponentially increase the horrendous risk of human error firing off these instant Armageddons in some sort of psychotic Dr Strangelove scenario. There's no shortage of human errorists in the good old USA. Even Homer Simpson was able to get a job in a nuclear facility.
With the land-based inter-continental ballistic missiles, once the button is pushed, there is no cancel option.
The main enemy is now not the enemy, but the weapon itself. This type of insanity is like sentencing someone to ten thousand years in jail. But it's been going on for so long now it's become normal.
When Mr Trump was asked his views on the triad in a December candidates' debate, he said: "... I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me."
Donald, believe me, the devastation thing is important to all of us. Maybe give it a little more thought in the meantime.
We don't want you anywhere near that button when you're having a bad hair day.
