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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Frank Greenall: Pregnant players big worry

By Frank Greenall
Whanganui Chronicle·
28 Dec, 2016 12:10 PM4 mins to read

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Frank Greenall

Frank Greenall

RUGBY is a game of two halves, but not many know it can also be a game of four quarters.

The first test against Australia in the 1913 series was played at Wellington's Athletic Park in -- not for the last time there -- blizzard conditions.

To combat hypothermia, the enterprising referee instituted a half-time within each half, so players could refortify on hot broth, as well as change ends (for the record, NZ won 30-5).

Adaptability was the watchword. So it's good to see the New Zealand Rugby Union taking a lead from the Australian Cricketers' Association, which now requires female test cricketers to declare their pregnancy status in player contracts.

The NZRU is to be congratulated for similarly extending its brand excellence to players' reproductive issues: henceforth, all those selected at national level, regardless of gender, will have to contractually declare pregnancy status also.

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This is partly to be seen as developing a progressive gender-neutral health and safety culture going forward at the end of the day. But it also addresses concerns raised by very real on-field past events.

For example, in the 1972 Ranfurly Shield challenge by Wanganui (spelling the rugby team retains) against North Auckland, the game was in the balance down to the wire.

From a melee right on the North Auckland goal line, the ball suddenly lollipopped out of the ruck, headed straight for Wanganui prop Sonny Osbaldiston, who was typically arriving late.

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All Sonny had to do was take the simple catch and fall over the line for an historic win. But unfortunately, at that crucial moment, his waters broke, and the distraction was enough for Sonny to fluff the dolly catch and rob Wanganui of a famous Shield victory.

This tragedy would have been avoided if the team medico had been made aware of Sonny's pregnancy status, and appropriate suppressive pre-game medication administered. Everyone had simply assumed Sonny's prominent front-bump was from regular daily necking of a dozen-plus jugs.

Sadly, in their 128-year existence, Wanganui have yet to have their name engraved on the illustrious trophy. And to this day, the Wanganui Union awards the annual Sonny Osbaldiston Memorial trophy to the player causing the season's biggest on-field cock-up.*

The All Blacks' loss in the 1995 World Rugby Cup final against South Africa has always been put down to food-poisoning.

Players had to regularly leave the field during the game to throw up. But evidence has emerged since that these events were just a coincidental break-out of mass morning sickness, consequent to a rash of airport restroom encounters.

That the morning sickness was occurring in the afternoon was because, even though the ABs had been in the Republic for some time, they still hadn't fully adapted to the time difference.

The Rugby Union initiative could advantageously migrate to the pregnancy policing of other professions.

For instance, as a proud Catholic, Bill English's tenure as Prime Minister could well be rudely interrupted by an unplanned pregnancy.

True, Bill's good wife has hitherto shouldered this quite frequent chore, but with the amount of hormone-impregnated chicken and pork on the market these days, Bill could also end up unexpectedly expecting.

A pregnant male Prime Minister need not necessarily be a hindrance to the performance of normal duties, at least until perhaps the third trimester.

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But Prime Ministerial support services would have to action in timely fashion the tailoring of a selection of paternity suits -- both dress and informal, not forgetting paternity Speedos for the summer surf. The public would demand nothing less. *FOOTNOTE: Notwithstanding Wanganui's 15-all draw with shield-holders Taranaki in 1964, perhaps the closest they have come to lifting the hallowed Log o' Wood was in their 1963 challenge against the same province. If the Sonny Osbaldiston Memorial trophy had been around then, it would have been awarded to Wanganui's supporters. Leading 12-11 with time up on the clock, the ball was headed towards touch from a Wanganui drop-out. Wanganui supporters -- believing the game won -- surged on to the field, engulfing the ball. The referee then deemed the ball to have gone out on the full, awarding Taranaki a scrum from which they scored a last-second try.

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