VP: Ahh, but there's a catch. He says he'll pay for it only if it runs along the border.
POTUS: Exactly, that's the whole point!
VP: Ahh, he means the original border. The border that was there before the US stole from Mexico what's now California, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and a few other bits.
POTUS: You're joking, right? What is he, some kind of communist? Doesn't he know we're the Land of the Free? If we want something, we take it for free. That's what made us great. I learnt that at Trump University before we got sprung. And we're going to be great again. So tell Pancho no dice!
VP: Then he says that, in that case, he'll have no option but to crash the US economy.
POTUS: Oh yeah, and how does Mr Jumping Bean propose to do that, exactly?
VP: He's going to get serious about shutting off the Mexican cocaine corridor to the US. He says it takes more than a wall to keep out drones.
POTUS: But ... but ... he can't do that. He'll crash the US economy! It's part of our heritage. Cocaine made Coca-Cola great, and what made Coca-Cola great makes America great. What'll become of our great incarceration industry if we haven't got drug offenders? And worse -- what'll become of our great War on Drugs? Our war on drugs is what helps keep America great, even though we're losing it big time.
No one likes losing, but we gotta do it for the Gipper and American greatness. After all, our drug war industry is almost as big as our great arms industry, and if we didn't have plenty of arms to energise the world war market, how could great American war-provisioning companies like Halliburton make an honest buck? Why, before you know it, fine upstanding citizens like Halliburton man Dick Cheney would be in the poorhouse. That reminds me -- call Dick and tell him I have a couple of great tips on hair retention he might find handy.
VP: President Nieto suggests we work towards an amicable compromise.
POTUS: Gee, I dunno. Doesn't he realise that the bastion of our great free enterprise system, Wall Street, runs on cocaine. If he blocks the snow flow, how can our overstressed traders get the necessary buzz to come up with creative schemes like hedged sub-prime mortgages to keep themselves in the manner they like being accustomed to? Especially when the sucker taxpayers are made to keep on bailing them out, plus bonuses, after they've shafted the sucker taxpayers.
VP: Hang on, boss, I think I've got it -- Wall Street was named after a defensive wall that used to be on the site to keep out local natives, right? So we can tell President Nieto there was a slight accounting error, and we already have a wall, even though it's now a street.
POTUS: Brilliant! Now I know why I hired you, Pence. Genius is my middle name. So tell Burrito Boy the wall's on hold as long as he's a good amigo and keeps that corridor clean, tidy, and open. Plus I'll do a great 20 per cent discount on the Trump Towers' Pancho Villa suite next time he's up.
