Father's Day will feel quite a bit different this year with the region in Covid-19 level 3 lockdown.
Logan Tutty talks to local fathers about what it means to be a dad, what they have learned and what they have planned for their big day on Sunday.
Barber Kahu Ponga says becoming a father made him re-evaluate where he was going with his life.
He says it is about realising there is someone else to provide for and support.
"I was over the moon when I heard," he says.
"All my friends in my age group were having kids already, I felt like I was getting old even though I was young because everyone else had kids. Becoming a parent is a big achievement in my family.
"But at the time I was jobless, living in the Hawke's Bay with my ex. I had nothing going for myself, it made me really look at myself.
"It was when my second kid came, I put my foot down and chased the barbering dream."
Ponga's two children live in Hawke's Bay with their mother.
He usually spends two weekends a month with them, but due to the lockdown, it is looking to be a few more weeks till they get to be reunited.
"When they first made that announcement, I rang her straight away because the last lockdown was about seven weeks. That is just too long for me, you know."
Ponga says it would have been a great opportunity to spend time with his kids, something that is hard to do due to work commitments and the distance between them.
"Having all this free time, me working is the only reason I wouldn't see them so much. With this lockdown, it's hard when I could have spent it with my kids. But with the circumstances, I can't just go get them."
After the passing of his own father in 2020, Ponga wants to ensure he is always there for his children.
"It changed a lot," he says.
"When my father passed, it was like 'whoa, I'm not going to have a dad around anymore'. I need to be around my kids as much as I can.
"I'm just trying to be as present as I can. I know I can do a lot better. I want to teach them you have to work hard for what you want, it doesn't just fall from trees."
Musician and father of three, Bruce Jellyman, says he and his partner both had times where they were the stay-at-home parent when their children were young.
"It got to the point where I was the person at home growing up. I'm not sure what the term is for that, I don't like any of the incumbent terms. You are just doing a particular job that is important to you."
Jellyman says if it is possible, try to spend as much time at home with your children in their formative years as you can.
"Even if it is just one year of being out of a job. I had quite a lot of trouble with myself and my own patience of being at home because you feel like you aren't doing much, but you actually have to give yourself permission to do the most important of jobs.
"In your actual life, being the parent or father and bringing up your kids is the singularly most important thing. If you are going to be a father, bloody do it."
Learning to let go of things as the children grow was equally important.
"As they grow up you have to learn to let go of things all the time, because you can't, and shouldn't, control every moment of their day," Jellyman says.
"That comes in pretty early on. Even by the time they are three or four, they are becoming a bit more independent and while that is wonderful, it can be hair-raising.
"That just carries on for them, earning their independence, you learning to let go, and where your place is in all that. If you keep trying to control them, you are not trusting the fact that you have already given them this foundational moral and life coaching, which you have done since they are born."
Jellyman says you have to acknowledge that your relationship with your children is going to change as they grow.
With his three all adults now, he has enjoyed the evolution.
"I would regard my children as still my children, but they are very much my adult friends. We get to talk about real-life things at this point in time."
Solo dad of a 20-month-old, Isaac Mackay, says you can try to educate yourself as much as you like, but until you have a child you don't really know.
He also has a 13-year-old and an 11-year-old, who live with their mother on the Kāpiti Coast.
He went to pick them up when the country went to Covid-19 alert level 3 last month as their mother had to return to work.
"The first one is a guinea pig in a way because it is completely uncharted territory. There is a lot of trepidation about getting it right because their first few years are major in terms of their development."
He says it is challenging to balance earning money for your family while also ensuring you are around them as much as possible.
"It felt like work was pulling me in one direction and then my family was pulling me in another, and it is hard to reconcile," Mackay says.
"You want to be there for them as much as possible, but when you are working, it is really hard to do that."
Currently on a solo parent subsidy, Mackay says the most important thing is being fully invested in raising his child.
"You do what you have to do. It was what needed to happen, I will get back into work when it's suitable. My primary focus is on her and it needs to be. Just do the best you can."
Mackay says the allocation of time is the most important element when being a father.
"I think a lot of people can be time-poor. It's a big balancing act. If you think about it, time is your most valuable asset.
"When you go to work, you sell that time effectively. That is what you are selling. Ultimately, it is the most valuable thing you have."
For Father's Day, Mackay plans on going for a walk and making most of the time he has with his children, something that isn't always possible.
"I go for up to two walks a day with the youngest, she really enjoys being outside. Have a nice meal, some of the best things are just the simple things. Just making the most of everything and focusing on things you do have control over."
Five things to do for a Father's Day in lockdown
Breakfast in bed: If you're in your father's bubble, a classic Kiwi breakfast fry up would be perfect on these crisp spring mornings.
Gather family for a video call: With some families separated due to the Covid-19 outbreak, why not give them a call on what is sure to be a very familiar medium during this time?
Go for a walk or bike ride: Just days into spring, why not make the most of the recent good weather and go for a walk or bike ride with your bubble?
Movie night: Pull out the popcorn, grab a glass of wine and put on one of his favourite movies for a cosy night in.
Blind beer taste test: With liquor stores now open for deliveries and click and collect, buy a few different beers, blindfold dad and see how many he guesses correctly.
