Instead, here's a few things that have happened to me in the past few weeks that made me smile and, hopefully, you too.
First, the 15-year-old told me he had a bigger stomach than me.
He wanted the last meat patty on the barbecue which was going to be mine.
Part of his reasoning was he was hungrier than me because he had a bigger stomach "but on the inside".
He went on to say: "Not on the outside, like because it's not huge like yours, but on the inside because I'm hungrier."
Then the 6-year-old and the 11-year-old had a drawing competition. The 6-year-old chose the topic which was "horses".
The 11-year-old, who does art classes, drew a horse with sunglasses and gel in its hair; the 6-year-old drew a horse that resembled a cow, however, I was the judge and she won, which made her day.
When the 11-year-old quizzed me why he lost, I told the lad that he was older and, therefore, had the advantage and it didn't hurt for his sister to win now and then.
To my great pleasure he understood and they both went off and drew cows (the lad's one was a bull complete with nose ring and some bad attitude horns).
Then my dog actually dropped the stick at my feet after I threw it.
Anyone who reads this column is aware by now that my Jack Russell, named Jack, is the world's most loveable and disobedient dog. He normally taunts me by chasing the stick or tennis ball and then, when he gets it, keeps just out of my arm's reach with it.
However, for some inexplicable reason he ran up to me and dropped it so I could throw it again.
I tried it again and sure enough he brought it back.
Aha! A breakthrough in human-Jack Russell relations.
Alas, it was not to be ... the next day he went back to his old ways. Sigh. Still I live in hope.
And, finally, the cat has nose cancer. That's not something very cheery I know but the way the kids reacted gave me hope for the world.
The vet gave us two options for poor old Ginge: a risky operation or to have her put down.
My fiancée decided the best thing was to ask the kids and, without fail, they all opted for the operation. Without hesitation, they all wanted to give her a chance.
Dan Jackson is a Whanganui journalist and part-time scrap metal dealer
