She had just spent over an hour on the phone talking to her friend in Australia and was apparently "exhausted" from wedding planning.
Not so exhausted, though, that she didn't have the energy to involve me, apparently ...
"Dan and Di sounds good, darl," I said, hoping to nip this in the bud painlessly.
But ... "No one really knows me as Di, though," she said. "Until I met you, everyone called me Diana ..."
Wow, I didn't see that coming, so I quickly responded with "Dan and Diana sounds fine, babe..."
Again, she was having none of that ...
"Shouldn't that be Daniel and Diana? It sounds a bit better."
I could see where this was heading, but I hadn't given up hope of an easy solution.
"I don't really mind, darl. If you want Daniel and Diana, I'll be happy with that ..."
"But what do you want?" she says. "It's your decision ... "
"Argggghhhh!" I reply.
"See," she says, looking at me with disdain, "I knew you didn't like making wedding decisions..."
Then, another time, we were talking about the wedding and I didn't actually have to say anything ...
"I've decided we're having a candy bar at the wedding," she said.
"Candy bars are really popular -- people get to choose what sort of lollies they like. I need you to choose some lollies. What? Don't pull that face. I'm know what that face means. I'm only asking you to choose some lollies. You don't have to make any of the big decisions like what to wear or when the wedding is. What? Why are you laughing? You'll be lucky if we get married at this rate ... "
Dan Jackson is a Whanganui journalist and part-time scrap metal dealer.
