Next Tuesday we have Nigel Dixon here talking about the ever-changing challenge of fatherhood and motherhood. We thought you might like to hear from him this week as a sneak preview to what sort of message he will be sharing. So here is Nigel's korero ... Flexible!
"I want to confess to a fact well known to my family and circle of friends. I have no real skills at all! Building, electrical, mechanical - you name it - I can't do it. The interesting thing with incompetence (or a lack of confidence if you prefer) is that when you have to do a job you either try too hard (and wreck something inadvertently) or give up too easily.
"This is particularly true of plumbing. We had a tub that leaked for years because I sadly avoided it. It seemed impossible. That finally sorted, our kitchen sink has started leaking - my last attempt a profound failure. We are rural and replacing filters is one of my required tasks - I have lost my rag doing it a few times. It is amazing how our feelings of inability can cause huge reactions.
"Being a dad involves the same risks. We can try too hard or weakly surrender. I don't think any of us feel confident or competent all the time. In fact to be a dad is to accept being out of your depth most of the time.
"So how do we approach this fatherhood thing? Part of the skill of being a dad is the principle of growing up with your kids. As they age, you must adapt and treat them differently. Fatherhood is fluid (you will never feel you have it nailed).
