Coping in the wake of tragedy is hard

In the wake of a week of tragedy both nationally and locally, frankly words feel clumsy and irrelevant.

Those who know me and have experienced my mahi understand that our korero includes but goes beyond our conversations. The use of our words is rather curious to me as they can connect us or disconnect depending on use and interpretations.

Communication to me is a way of conveying our thoughts, our perceived truths and realities, or our interpretations of our beliefs and values.

Communication is not a one-way street. So where do our beliefs and values come from? From the moment we are born we are picking up messages through our senses and forming feelings which then cluster to form emotions. All informing who we think we are. We absorb and learn what words are "taught" to us, forming all part of our tapestry of our personal expression.

As babies we are as about as perfect as we'll ever be in this human world. We know no difference, it is only those who tell us we are different that creates separation. The work and research of Dr Bruce Lipton is now revealing that we are 95 per cent products of our environment, as it is largely the environment that "activates" the gene.

As babies we know no religion, culture, nor have gender awareness.
We don't realise that we are separate from our mothers until quite some time after birth.
We are just open beings who are present and being informed by our whanau and what the world around teaches us.

For those of us who for whatever reason reach a point where we start to question our personal realities, the world around us, the people in it and how we fit in.

Some of us feel we have little choice but to strive to take the path back to that feeling of connectedness. I say strive because while in this human body that's all I can do. We seek a place where all souls are equal where there is no point of difference.

The paradox exists though, that we DO experience difference as our personal reality tells us that we are the product of our socialisation. I believe it's the striving towards connection that can bring us the common ground, and one we should hold sacred.
HOW we do that should be up to us as individuals so long as the intent is to connect with love and not separate through fear, pay back, hatred, guilt nor shame, nor the need to control. Those who choose the latter will need to accept the consequences and take responsibility for their actions. Like we all do. Some will choose to wake up while others won't.

Those who have the belief that they need to control lest they be controlled are not yet awake to what I am saying. So what then when we come across folk like this in our day to day lives? Well, we keep going and we seek to connect to ourselves, to make our own personal shift, not through words but through what we feel and what we demonstrate. We have been seeing demonstrations this week of that love with people coming together. Now how do we keep this up?

We need to recognise when we aren't in that space. We then need to take personal responsibility for it, understanding that it comes TO us and FROM us simultaneously. We don't have to wait for the next tragedy. We can start in our own selves and our own back yards, and if we can't strive to do that? Then we can not expect others to either. www.carlascoachingforhealth.com