Chester Borrows: We all love a good idea in hindsight

Prime Minister John Key attending the Big Gay Out Gay Pride event at Coyle Park Pt Chevalier Auckland.

With any issue political issue the tide of public opinion washes in and out.

We occasionally hear of an idea "whose time has come", the country catches a wave of enthusiasm as it seems to be the most logical step, and we wonder why it wasn't thought of before.

Sometimes these issues are hot and everyone gets it, and sometimes people have to light a fire and fan sparks into flames before there is enough heat out there in the public for anything to happen.

On Wednesday I attended the celebration for the 30th anniversary of the decriminalisation of homosexual act - they even flew a rainbow flag in front of Parliament.

I didn't really see what all the fuss was about until I was made to recall 1986 and the huge uproar around this debate. The accusations and slurs; the placards and the vitriol. Yet these days nobody would argue for re-criminalisation.

So what is it that takes the heat out of these issues? Do we just grow up and change our minds or is it numb resignation and the feeling that the other side won and we lost the argument?

Sometimes we realise that for all that got us outraged and the fears we had that the world was going to hell in a handcart ... well, it didn't and the bad stuff we predicted didn't result. Life went on.

How people live their lives does not gravely affect us on the other side of the fence. It is none of our business. We wonder in hindsight why we were so upset about it, and smile to ourselves.

However, those who bore the brunt of the hostility and hatred still wear the scars, sometimes like badges of honour. As there was less stigma associated with being gay, more people stepped out of the closet and as we got to know more gay people, the myths around homosexuality disappeared.

We grew to accept people for who they were and didn't identify people by their differences. Thankfully, New Zealand became a more tolerant place.

Then there are those who will demand that they were right then; are right now; and will always be right no matter what. To concede that, with time, they could've been shaking the wrong end of the stick would be an indictment.

We now know more about drugs and alcohol than we ever did before. We know more about dyslexia, autism, human behaviour and it shapes our thinking and the way we do education, for example.

We know about failed social experiments in social housing and dealing with ethnic migration. We no longer force kids to write with their right hand and tie their left behind their backs. Why is it so surprising that, over time, we change our minds on things we thought were pillars of our faith?

Sometimes politicians, like everybody else, just need to let ideas and issues mature a little bit. When we were kids ours mums would knit us jerseys that were too big and we needed to grow in to them.

It isn't always good to be the first to have an idea whose time has not yet arrived - but, when the time is right, it was all our idea. Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan.

If we all work together to keep forward looking and don't keep fighting the battles we've lost, we will realise that New Zealand isn't perfect, but it is well on the way.

Better than it was, but nowhere near as good as it will be one day.