It's not always the type of man people may think who abuse their partners.
That's coming from a guy who knows.
"I know good men that have come from good homes. They have lost their jobs, become stressed about it ... anxiety kicks in.
"Then they've committed an offence against a family member because of it."
Pete Porter works as a family violence facilitator at Rise Whanganui and is trying to guide men who have become angry and violent. Porter understands them well because it's like looking in the mirror sometimes.
"Women in that environment didn't feature highly for us," Porter said, speaking before he got on his motorbike to join the White Ribbon march up Victoria Ave on Friday.
"Didn't matter whether it was your partner, your wife, your children ... didn't really matter. The club came first, the guys came first, the bikes came first. The women were really just servers."
Several things then happened in Porter's life that made him rethink things. His brother killed himself. Methamphetamine took hold of friends.
He decided to change his environment. He moved to Wellington where he trained to become a diver and his world opened up to some very different people.
"I met people who were totally different to the ones that I'd grown up with. They were honest, they were real good role models, they were reliable ... you could talk to them about anything."
Slowly he changed his life. He met his now wife. They had a daughter.
"I went to kohanga with her. In that environment there are mainly women. I was learning to live my childhood again with my daughter. I got to learn those things that are really important in terms of laying a foundation for children."
Photo / Stuart Munro
A group of White Ribbon riders spent Thursday night in Whanganui and visited Keith Street School yesterday morning, where they were welcomed by a haka and then spoke to students.
At noon, along with about 300 residents, they rode and marched up Victoria Ave to Majestic Square where they parked their bikes and gave speeches. It was a celebratory scene full of sun, smiles and even a free sausage sizzle.
The bikers finished the day by visiting Aberfeldy School in the afternoon.
Porter says he's not a facilitator to tell guys how to live their lives - it's not like that.
"Most men are good men. They have really good, strong values and principles. But there are those men who haven't had that opportunity to be nurtured growing up.
Photo / Stuart Munro
"Maybe just planting that seed into one man and him changing ... it's not just an individual that will change, it's the whole family and the next family and the next family."
But Porter admits there's still a lot of violence in the community and somethings will have to change.
"Go out on the footy paddock and you still hear those comments. 'Harden up boy, get up'.
"It doesn't allow for our boys to show emotion. If that's what we continue to teach our children it hardens their heart and when they become adults it makes it harder."
