Boys addicted to porn, girls having sex too young - White Ribbon's uncomfortable but important message

White Ribbon rider Takurua Tawera will speak in Whanganui's Majestic Square on Friday. Photo / supplied

Men are asked to do more than refrain from violence toward women in this year's White Ribbon campaign - they are asked to prevent others doing it.

November 25 is White Ribbon Day, the international day for ending violence toward women.

On Tuesday at 7pm Te Ao Hou Marae is hosting a kōrero on keeping wahine and whānau safe, and on Friday there will be a march, speeches and a barbecue in Majestic Square.

The march leaves from the corner of Taupo Quay and St Hill St at noon, and finishes at Majestic Square. It will be joined by White Ribbon riders who are on a lower North Island tour.

This year, as well as pledging to stand up, speak out and act to prevent men's violence toward women, men can commit to one of eight specific actions. One of them is to talk to young men about respectful relationships and pornography.

Pornography is now so freely available that boys as young as seven have access to it and there is no way for parents to prevent that, White Ribbon campaign organiser Rob McCann said.

As a result, hospitals are seeing girls who are having sex too young and becoming incontinent. And some boys are unable to get erections when sex doesn't measure up to the violent and "way out" pornography they consume.

"As parents you can't stop your children having access to this anymore, because the internet is absolutely everywhere and young people will tend to be one step ahead of their parents," McCann said.

There's a massive addiction to pornography. He's heard of young men who would rather stay at home and watch porn than go out with a real person.

Research on New Zealand fathers has found they are unlikely to talk to their sons about respectful sexual relationships, yet they talk to their daughters about keeping safe.

"Don't wait until your sons are 15 or 16. They've already had years and years of watching these things by then," McCann advises.

Men can take the White Ribbon pledge online, and those committing to talk to young men will be sent information on the best way to do so.

Other actions men can commit to include disrupting other men's violence against women, treating women as equals and talking to young men about breaking out of the "Man Box".