John Key has admitted to repeatedly invading the personal space of waitress Amanda Bailey, a non-consenting adult female by pulling her ponytail.
Both parties agree on the facts - it is the interpretation that is different. John Key seeks to minimise the gravity of the offence when he says it was "horsing around".
We are already getting the opening salvos of the sort of campaign that the powerful - usually men - use to make themselves look the aggrieved victim instead of the other way round.
Key says: "We have lots of fun and games there." By repeatedly stressing the playful nature of his hair-pulling, Key prepares us to see Ms Bailey as somehow "over-sensitive". In other words, she is the one who is out of line, not him.
The media are beginning to blame the victim. A NZ Herald reporter first outed Ms Bailey, then ascribed a motive to the young woman's going public "because the Prime Minister 'feels he is untouchable". We are led to believe Ms Bailey has a pre-existing agenda.
Mr Key's latest iteration of an explanation, in which he says he failed - in retrospect - to read her signals, is far from believable.
Ms Bailey says she was uncomfortable each time he sought her out to repeat the pulling of her ponytail. She sought to hide from him.
To believe that a practised politician of Mr Key's experience has suddenly lost the ability to read another person's non-verbal cues requires a massive suspension of disbelief.
In none of Mr Key's putting of light gloss on this behaviour, nor of his "apologies", does he deign to mention this woman by name, though known to all. Even there, she is objectified by him.
Ms Bailey's plight is what concerns me. As to John Key, the retrieved video showing the PM doing the same thing to little girls is even more serious. While children are unlikely to complain, they are also unable to consent. That is creepy.
Try putting yourself in Ms Bailey's shoes.
He is the PM and you are a young worker who, presumably, needs to keep her job in the hospitality industry. You are repeatedly subjected to this man's impulses to touch your "tantalising" hair - every time he does it you feel more powerless until one day you burst with anger and tell the world about it. What do you think will happen to you?
John Key will be fine. In the unlikely event he is forced to resign, he can retire to a beach house in Hawaii. It is the lingering consequence for Amanda Bailey that is worrisome.
In the US, President Bill Clinton's affair with 22-year-old Monica Lewinsky caused him temporary political pain, but he has earned over $110 million since leaving office. Forty-year-old Ms Lewinsky, who was made into a joke, cannot get a job.
If John Key gets away with invading the personal space that is the privacy of an unwilling 26-year-old Amanda Bailey, what can he do to the rest of us? Oh, I forget - politically, he is supporting doing exactly that.
Jay Kuten is an American-trained forensic psychiatrist who emigrated to New Zealand for the fly fishing. He spent 40 years comforting the afflicted and intends to spend the rest afflicting the comfortable.
