"The worst loneliness, is not to be comfortable with yourself." — Mark Twain
I think Mark Twain was talking about loneliness that is so deep, that we forsake ourselves. I remember times, when I gave up on myself. Other people around me spoke to me of the things I was good at and encouraged me, but I heard very little of their encouragement. Instead I was consumed by things I perceived I did not do well, mistakes I made and decisions I made that were wrong. Especially difficult were the times when, even though I had good people around me, I was lonely because I didn't seem to have the people I wanted in my life. I was uncomfortable with myself. I fixated on what was wrong with me and felt inadequate. I had abandoned myself. By abandoning myself I was really lonely.
How often do we describe feelings of disconnection with ourselves as loneliness? I think this was the kind of loneliness Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by his pen name Mark Twain, meant with his quote.
My angels have always encouraged me that change is always possible. However, like Mark Twain said, "A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape." So, I learned to modify my shape, so to speak, to be open to change when it is needed and to understand change takes time. Time to become aware that I have a problem, time to prepare and be ready to act, and then time to maintain the action I have taken, while being mindful not to go back to the previous behaviour that caused me concern, behaviour that left me emotionally, spiritually and physically lonely.
I needed to become comfortable with myself, the real me, warts and all. I began to be satisfied with myself when I was alone or surrounded by people. I found my peace, by coming back to myself and accepting all of who I am. My angels smile encouraging smiles. Maybe this is something for you to consider this week, my friends. Arohanui. Shirley-Joy
