Be mindful and stay peaceful

Kristen Hamling

I recently saw a great cartoon of three men. The first man was playing golf but thinking about having sex. The second man was having sex but thinking about work. The third man was at work but was thinking about playing golf.

How often do we live this way, faraway from the here and now? With the constancy of the 21st century and the capacity to be plugged in 24/7, where is the time just to ... be?

Anchoring yourself into the present moment is a really hard thing to do. Notice for yourself how often your mind wanders throughout your day - when working, exercising, playing with the kids or cooking dinner. We so often step into the future, worrying or imaging something that hasn't even happened yet. Or we get caught up on the past, ruminating about things we no longer can control. A recent post on Facebook sums this up beautifully: "Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace."
Learning the practice of mindfulness is a good antidote for a wandering mind. Mindfulness is about paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.

In mindfulness, you allow the natural ebb and flow of thoughts and emotions, without grasping on to them. Just like clouds floating in the sky, notice them and let them pass you by. Our mind works in a similar way, with lots of thoughts, feelings and emotions coming and going. You don't need to buy into each and every one of them.

Studies show that people who practice mindfulness on a regular basis experience a much steadier and calmer mind. Mindful people have greater control of their emotions, are more focused, self-aware, recover quicker from stressful experiences and are better problem solvers. They also experience a greater range of positive emotions. New studies are showing that people tend to feel most happy when they are absorbed wholeheartedly in the present moment.

A good mindful activity is a focused breathing exercise. Close your eyes and take a couple of nice slow, steady breaths. Feel the sensation of your breath as it comes into your body; passing through your nose and into your abdomen. Feel the breath drawing down, expanding your stomach as you breath in and deflating as you breath out. Remember nice slow steady breaths. When your mind wanders, acknowledge that this has happened and simply refocus on your breath, over and over again if necessary. This is a good way of calming your mind and body when you are feeling particularly stressed.

Practise mindfulness at various times during the week. Chose any activity and practice the act of focusing in, allowing thoughts and emotions to come and go, while drawing yourself back to the present. For example, if walking, focus your attention on the feeling of your feet on the ground, the air on your skin, the colours all around you, the smells in the air.

Each time your mind wanders, acknowledge this non-judgmentally and simply bring your attention back to the sensation of walking.

Studies show that regular mindful practices change the nature of how our brain works. Even 10 minutes a day of mindfulness practice strengthens your mind and this has a ripple effect to all other aspects of your life. It is a powerful stress management and resilience-enhancing technique that has been adopted in schools, the military and in medicine.

Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Zabat Zin and the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Workbook by Stahl and Goldstein are good books if you want to read more about this subject.

I'd encourage you to practise mindfulness and to learn more about it. I am practising mine at yoga forme in town, but you can do it online. If you are thinking this is New Age, tree-hugging, hippy, folklore kind of stuff, then think again. The science behind mindfulness is extremely compelling.

A friend recently said to me: "You should ride life; don't let it ride you." To me this is a great summary of what mindfulness means to me.

A registered psychologist with a Masters in Applied Psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in positive psychology at Auckland University of Technology.