Be a great dad - get off the couch and act like a clown

We've been having a lot of fun hosting dads-only events here at Strategies for Kids and Information for Parents (SKIP), with lots of activities and accompanied by food.

Watching dads and granddads playing and interacting with their children is a good reminder of how important the role of a father or other significant male is in the life of a child.

Ongoing research shows that growing up with a present and involved father or father figure in a child's life directly affects their wellbeing. This is evident in children as they grow and is observed in their cognitive ability, educational achievement, psychological wellbeing and social behaviour.

Fathers have a distinctive contribution to make as a parent. They provide children with many life skills as well as a sense of who they are and where they belong in the world. A father feels physically different to the infant than the mother. He has his own way of playing with the older child, and he brings a different perspective on things to the teenager.

Being a father is the most important role a man can undertake in life, and yet it is not one we are trained for. Here are some tips for being a great dad.

With babies and toddlers:

Get off the couch and play on the floor with them.

Let them climb on your back and play horseback rides. Play rough-and-tumble games with them, wrestle, let them sit on you. During that play they are enjoying the security of your strength and being close.

Let them make up the games and just play along with them.

Forget your personal dignity and be a clown.

Read bedtime stories to them.

With older children:

Try sitting in the back seat of the car with them sometimes. Being together makes you more approachable and easier to talk with. Play games like "I spy" as you drive along.

Crouch down, kneel or sit when talking with them so that you are at their level and not towering over them. Respect their personal space and don't push your face into theirs.

Don't be in a hurry. Children go at a different pace, so slow down and take things at their speed to be close to your child.

Be patient and don't sweat the small stuff. They are not going to always do as you want or expect.

There is much more information out today to support the changing role of fathers, whether you parent your children full-time, part-time or only a few days a week or month.

It's good to remember that your involvement and time with your children is the most important thing, making it fun and memorable sometimes and just being there at other times.

A group of dads in Wellington got together a few years ago and started a website called DIY Father that offers resources for dads and practical information about parenting from a male perspective. DIYFather.com was brought into this world by Scott Lancaster, Eric Mooij and Stefan Korn - who recognised the need for a dedicated website for fathers. They realised that good parenting information specifically aimed at dads was hard to find, so they created this website. We encourage Dads to check it out.

SKIP also has booklets especially for dads: "Take time to be a dad it's life-changing", and a series for soon-to-be and new dads.

If you would like a copy, contact Lynette or Liza at SKIP Whanganui, phone or text 027 626 1404, or email skipwhanganui@xtra.co.nz.