Always be true to yourself

HAVE you heard of Taylor Swift's song Shake It Off? It is a great song, not only for the fabulous dancing it evokes in my family, but also for the message that it sends.

You really have to take notice nowadays of song lyrics and what you want your kids to hear. For instance, the other day I am sure I was singing away to a song about masturbation.

Consequently, I have tried to steer my kids towards songs that are cleverer than this and contain some great sentiments, such as Shake It Off. It is really nice to hear a song that contains an important message from a pop artist who seems to me to be a very good role model for young people.

Ostensibly this song is about having thick skin and not buying into what other people think of you. It sort of taps into the old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". The song advocates for people to stay true to themselves and to not let other people's negative opinions of them influence the way they feel about themselves.

Part of the chorus goes like this: "The players are going to play, the haters are going to hate, the heart-breakers are going to break, and the fakers are going to fake, but I'm just going to shake it off".

The other sentiment of the song is that some people are going to form bad opinions of you, no matter what you do.

There are also people who are unkind and will treat you badly and unfairly. You just have to shake it off.

Clearly, Taylor Swift is a talented and mature young woman. Further evidenced by her insightful thoughts on her website, such as "You're lucky enough to be different, never change", and "I have this really high priority on happiness and finding something to be happy about". Seriously, how can someone come up with this at the ripe old age of 25?

I wish I'd been a bit more Taylor Swift in my younger days. I may have stuck more to my guns and stayed true to who I was, versus worrying about what other people thought of me and adjusting my behaviour.

So I have used this song to teach my boys that when someone says something mean to them, then just shake it off. If something happens in life that isn't fair, then again, shake it off. If someone hurts them, then just shake it off. You can't get caught up in the actions of others, you only have so much influence on other people. The most influence you have is on yourself, so influence your own actions, thoughts and emotions to improve a situation that you don't like, and shake the rest off.

At a time when cyber-bullying is rife and there is a deficit of empathy in the social media, I think this is a very good song for all young people to be connecting with.

Thanks, Taylor Swift, for a great song, both to dance to, and to learn and grow from.

A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in positive psychology at Auckland University of Technology.