Shyness can be overcome

Rod Bannister Photo/File

Many of us spend time searching the internet to find ways how to improve ourselves.

Maybe we want to become leaner, stronger, faster, prettier or sexier. Maybe we want to become a happier version of who we are or we are seeking some sort of direction.

As ridiculous as it may seem, spending hour upon hour on dotcom can also help you overcome being shy!

Digging DeeperContrary to some professional opinions, we don't always need to know the origin or the cause of our irrational thoughts or behaviours.

Think about it - the unco-ordinated novice jogger can train to run a marathon. The lifetime overweight compulsive eater can become lean, strong and full of vitality. The shy adult can become a game show host.

So who says our past has to dictate our future?

So what's stopping you?

In the bigger picture there is a very broad range of "normal" when it comes to our levels of social confidence - surely every child cannot become the head of the drama class?

Shyness can become a real problem when it stops us from participating in stuff when we want to. We invariably end up being the spectator instead of the player.

It can also inhibit our abilities to speak up at a meeting, greet a new contact, get introduced to our partner's family and attend our kids' school activities. These events may be as exciting as heck for the majority but, for some, it is their worst nightmare.

Unfortunately, shyness can be interpreted as being arrogant. You may be sitting by yourself desperately wanting someone to come and say "hello" but they don't because of your manner that may scream "Leave me alone!".

It isn't a nice way to be and I would not wish it upon anyone.

Life on the bench

Unlike acne, shyness is not something you can simply grow out of.

One of the best ways to overcome shyness - and any other phobia - is to put yourself in situations that do not make you comfortable, where you are forced to overcome your fears. It will not be pretty and you will be anxious, but I can honestly say it will be worth it.

Begin to embrace situations that make you feel uncomfortable and remember stuff only has the power, impact and meaning that we allow it to have.

If you keep challenging yourself, one day you will discover that you actually enjoy an event that may have previously been your idea of social minefield.

TIPS We don't always need to know the origin or the cause of our irrational thoughts or behaviours.

One of the best ways to overcome shyness is to put yourself in situations that do not make you comfortable, where you are forced to overcome your fears.

Keep challenging yourself, one day you will discover that you actually enjoy an event that may have been your idea of social minefield.
Rod Bannister is an Australasian Masters squash champion, fitness expert and owner of One Mentoring onementoring@gmail.com