From everyday inequalities such as unfair gender divisions of household chores and a preference for male children, to cultural practices that threaten the health and wellbeing of women — ranging from skin bleaching, arranged marriages and the atrocities of honour killings — there are a myriad of injustices facing South Asian and Indian women in New Zealand and around the world.
Two years ago, Auckland students Simran Kaur and Harsharin Kaur Virk launched social platform The Indian Feminist to share their experiences and create a dialogue with other South Asian and Indian women. “We discuss topics that are considered taboo in our culture,” says Harsharin. “We talk about bodily autonomy and breaking down gender roles.”
Their slogan "two kickass Punjabi girls smashing the patriarchy one post at a time" sums up their unapologetically bold attitude and ambition. They describe The Indian Feminist as a "multimedia platform of empowerment". Thousands of followers interact across Instagram, Facebook and Theindianfeminist.com, a resource site that includes an online store featuring clothing and accessories with slyly humorous slogans designed by Simran.
The pair says the biggest challenge they face is negotiating two different sets of cultural values. “In our community, a number of families are still traditional and quite patriarchal. We’re trying to balance that with living in a country where the values are different,” says Simran. “Growing up, I felt I had to be one or the other. It’s a balancing act. You don’t want to disappoint your parents, but you want to fit in with your peers.”
Topics such as arranged marriage are so far removed from the experience of friends outside their culture that they don’t feel they can talk openly about them. They post every day, calling out sexism and promoting positive messages of strength and autonomy (‘Do as you please brown girl’; ‘Become the doctor your parents wanted you to marry’). “Everyone has a choice,” says Simran. “You are your own person and you can be separated from societal, cultural and family expectations. When people continue to hear that it starts solidifying in their heads.”
As the children of immigrants they are sympathetic to the experiences of their parents’ generation. “In New Zealand we have a very new Indian population. Our parents have traditional ideals. They’ve come to a new country and they’re having to navigate two worlds while trying to raise us, and we’re having to navigate the two worlds as well,” says Harsharin.
Gender inequality in traditional Indian culture is a frequent topic of discussion and they aren’t afraid to call out injustices. “Indian men still aren’t expected to cook and clean. Females are supposed to take on those roles, as well as having careers and educating themselves,” says Simran. “If you go to dinner parties, even if you’re a guest, as a woman you’re expected to go to the kitchen and help with the wife who lives there while her husband will be sitting on the couch, talking and drinking. Growing up, it started to solidify for me that this was different than what I experienced at my European friend’s homes.”
Family honour and restrictions placed on female independence is another recurring issue they address. Young women are seen not as individuals but as representing the family; behaviour is scrutinised and judged, leading to limitations to their autonomy. “If you want a tattoo or to live overseas for a year, it’s very hard to do those things as an individual. You’re damaging the family honour,” says Harsharin.
They also confront the double standards applied to young women, but not men. “What you do can affect whether you’re ‘marriageable’ or not. It feels like your life is being set up to be a great person to marry — an eligible bachelorette,” says Simran. Creating a safe place for dialogue and sharing experiences is at the heart of The Indian Feminist community and the duo get pleasure from feedback.
“People say things like, ‘I thought I was the only person who went through this or thought like this’,” says Harsharin. “It was quite bittersweet to realise there were so many people who were going through similar experiences. It’s powerful,” adds Simran. The response to The Indian Feminist has far exceeded expectations. They anticipated their Instagram account would have a few hundred followers at most. They currently number 60,000 and are increasing rapidly. Their audience is global, with the largest communities in the US, India, UK and Canada, and although mostly of made up young women there is a small following of men too. Both Simran and Harsharin acknowledge more men are becoming aware of gender inequalities in their culture, but they are also realistic about how much change will be driven by their male contemporaries.
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Advertise with NZME.“It can be very difficult to challenge, particularly if there are things that benefit you but disadvantage a different group,” says Harsharin. They plan to continue to grow their audience and empower young women. The platform has already garnered international media attention — they’ve appeared in the Times of India, American online magazine Kaur Life and on a panel for the BBC Asian network.
“It would have been nice to have had this account or a role model like this when I was younger,” says Simran. “To be confident and stand up to things in my community that I think are wrong.” Harsharin adds, “We’re facilitating a place for people to come together, to feed off each other and empower each other. These ideas are not mine alone; there are people all over the world sharing these thoughts.”
For more info, go to: Theindianfeminist.com; @the_indian_feminist
This is part of a special Viva and Dilmah editorial series celebrating inspirational women excelling in their fields. To see more, go to Viva.co.nz/Dilmah
