(Subjective) back-to-work tips for navigating a space where the personal and professional collide.
OPINION
In short, the secret can be reduced to some plain and simple advice.
Be courteous.
Don’t smell bad.
Don’t give off bad vibes.
Don’t bad-mouth other people.
Don’t stare.
Don’t burp.
Don’t fart.
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You’ve got your workwear sorted. You’ve packed your lunch. You’ve figured out which mode of transport and bags to carry that will help you safely get to the gym, work, and back home in one piece.
When it comes to one of the many common scenarios of general office life, finding yourself in the intimate confines of a contraption like an elevator is one of them.
What to say or do, how to stand in a space that prompts awkward silences can be all too much to deal with first thing in the morning (least of all any other time of the day) because at the crux of it all, standing nose-to-nose with a stranger in an elevator is an infringement on something most of us value – our personal space.
According to Lifts.co.nz (yes that’s a real website), general commercial lifts measure between 900mm and 1400mm.
On a busy day, that’s not big.
Body position
On a recent elevator ride, I shared the trip with four other people, two of whom were standing on either side of me as I stood facing the doors in the centre. It’s an elevator formation I find extremely awkward. A word of advice: If you want to make life less awkward in an elevator, just take the two steps it requires to shuffle your body toward the uncomplicated and unconfrontational direction of the doors. As in, face the doors rather than staring into my side profile. There’s no need to recreate Abba’s soft choreography from Knowing Me, Knowing You (especially when you like, don’t know me and I don’t know you).
Door etiquette
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Advertise with NZME.Of course, there are other matters to address like who and how long you should hold the elevator doors open for a stranger.
If doing one good deed for the day means holding the door to an otherwise empty elevator then do it. It’s common courtesy and good elevator karma is a token you might need one day. While it’s perfectly acceptable to want to close the doors as quickly as possible on someone you don’t like, for someone you don’t know, be kind.
Staring
A persona non grata in public is someone who has a staring problem. In an elevator, with its limited space, the violation is amplified. So if you have a staring problem, avoid it the most in an elevator. Leave it to the safety of unspoken, polite smiles.
If it’s staring in admiration, make someone’s day and offer them an unsolicited (un-creepy) compliment – it’s a way to disarm the person and maybe you’ll meet a new friend.
Hygiene
While we can look back at “those pandemic years” like some sort of weird blip in our historical canon, the hangover of cleanliness is vital to any successful elevator ride. The risk of transmission of Covid during elevator rides over that period was something we all had to navigate with caution. In a high-density elevator, it’s not always easy to hold a sneeze or cough in, so if you feel like one is en route, be mindful, cover your face and keep your hands and fingers to yourself. Ask someone else to press the button for you, or if you’re able to and the buttons allow, use your elbow. Again, do your best to suppress the burp silently and keep your mouth shut until you disembark.
Entry and exit
The everyday etiquette of letting someone exit first before you enter is a simple act of thoughtfulness that surprisingly so many people fail to do.
Let people get out of the elevator first before you enter, and don’t hover in the way of the entrance and exit. No one likes that person. Don’t be that person.
Buttons
Pay attention to where the elevator is heading. If someone has pressed the button to go up, don’t get in the elevator and say, “Oh, it’s going up,” when you’re going in the opposite direction. Also, don’t press multiple buttons. A total tut-tut. If someone has their hands full or if you’re standing closest to the button panel, ask them what floor they are going to and offer to press the button for them.
Chit-chat
If you’re already on the phone upon entry, try to keep the volume of your voice down or simply return the call later.
Some elevators go faster than others, but you can always rest assured that thanks to this feat of man-made technology, the journey is not long. So if you’re in an elevator with people you don’t know, keep the small talk to a polite greeting. This is useful if you are already awkward or unsure of how to read the elevator. Don’t instigate a two-minute deep and meaningful conversation. That’s not what elevators are for – an elevator is a physical symbol of efficiency after all.
If the elevator is located in the middle of a farm in some small town, then by all means - yarn away.
Dan Ahwa is Viva’s fashion and creative director and a senior premium lifestyle journalist for the New Zealand Herald.
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