Bringing their many loved ones together on an orchard near Whangārei on a hot, sunny day in March, Keva and Deirdre’s nuptials were an uplifting family affair.
Papa Clothing designer Keva (née Rands) married her best friend Deirdre Stanley, a medical PA on the family’s Glenbervie orchard, Olaga Fou, welcoming family and friends to see the life they’d built together up north. The ceremony was a celebration of their relationship, with every detail and element thought out carefully, from service and menu to the flowers and bridal looks.
It was design that brought them together; the two met when Deirdre became a Papa customer, ordering a few custom pieces when Keva was running the label out of her studio located, during that time, in Auckland.
Their connection blossomed, and the two were bonded during both beautiful and turbulent times. “Our relationship has followed big moments in our country and world history,” Keva explains, and these have been pivotal to building their love around shared values.
“We met the day after the Christchurch terrorist attacks and started going to tautoko the action at Ihumātao together soon after. The Black Lives Matter movement followed that. We’re currently watching a genocide take place in Gaza. And now our current Government is undoing any positive action previous governments attempted to put in place for marginalised folks, tangata whenua and the planet. Through these hugely challenging times, it’s been a huge comfort to have a best friend in your partner whom you trust and know will share the same values and is happy to talk through tough decisions together safely.”
They supported each other during a pandemic, relocating to Whangārei, and the evolution of their respective careers, all while nurturing the all-important networks within their families.
Throughout all of this, the pair have found huge comfort in having a best friend and partner to trust, sharing ethics and talking through tough decisions safely together — their synergy of soul and thought was a foundation of their wedding, and they shared the significance of the highs and the lows with their guests as they cemented their union and looked to the future.
They have their special memories below.
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Advertise with NZME.THE VISION
Keva and Deirdre: I don’t think we had a vision for the day but we are both aunties — it’s our favourite role and one we take very seriously. So a lot of thought for the day had our nieces and nephews in mind. We had about 30 children at our wedding; our nieces walked down the aisle with us. We hired a local real fruit icecream truck for dessert. We had lawn games and sun-shelters full of bean bags. A snack table of watermelon and chips. And lots of running space for games of hide and seek.
THE CEREMONY
Keva and Deirdre: It reflected us perfectly — we got married under a big jacaranda tree at Keva’s family orchard in Glenbervie, Whangārei. Keva walked down the aisle to a Hawaiian song that her grandmother danced hula to at Keva’s parents’ wedding, and Deirdre walked down the aisle to Prince. Deirdre’s younger brother read a bell hooks excerpt from her book, All About Love. We signed our marriage certificates to Marvin Gaye and Tami Terrell’s, Our Precious Love. Deirdre’s cousin Sarah Cowley was our celebrant and she made the whole ceremony very special.
THE LOCATION
Keva and Deirdre: It made the most sense to have our wedding in the North — it’s where Keva was born and raised (Matapouri) and it’s where we’ve lived for the past two and a half years as we bought our home in Whangārei. It was finally an excuse to have our families and friends see the life we’ve built away from Auckland, where we’ve both lived for most of our lives. And Olaga Fou — the name of Keva’s family avocado and persimmon orchard — translates to ‘new beginnings’ in Samoan so it felt serendipitous to have the wedding there.
THE PLANNING
Keva and Deirdre: Because it was a “home” wedding everything down to the cutlery and lights for Portaloo’s had to be bought or hired. This meant the entire day was the result of the work, help and support of our families. Our family members took care of us in ways only family know how — whether it was weed-whacking the entire orchard, or sewing hundreds of metres of ribbon for our bridal lei or carefully driving a trailer full of big native plants along the coast. Our favourite part of the wedding week was seeing all the connections being made between our families due to everyone just getting stuck in with setup. Our parents were also a wonderful help. Without them, our wedding would’ve had a guestlist of 10 and a sausage sizzle for our main.
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Advertise with NZME.THE RINGS
Keva and Deirdre: We wanted simple gold bands that would be comfortable and beautiful to wear so we went with smooth designs from local jewellers Meadowlark and Good Gold.
THE DRESSES
Keva and Deirdre: We chose dresses from local designers. Keva sourced her own brown silk taffeta and a brown silk organza for her veil. Paris Georgia custom made Keva’s dress and Keva sewed her veil. Deirdre’s dress was made by Dominique Healy, another incredible local designer in a soft cream silk. This felt like a full-circle moment for Deirdre because she was the first friend Deirdre made at Epsom Girls Grammar. “I even remember the day she came to school and told me she had joined the Spotlight sewing classes,” says Deirdre. “I teased her for being a nana at 13, and 20 odd years later she graciously accepted my pleas to make my wedding dress!”
THE BRIDESMAIDS
Deirdre: Keva made all the bridesmaids’ outfits and our flower girl fits too. We didn’t like the idea of forcing our sisters/cousins to wear something they weren’t comfortable in, so Keva put together a booklet of Papa clothing looks and everyone got to choose a bespoke Papa outfit that suited their style and body type in the cotton fabrics we found.
THE BEAUTY
Keva and Deirdre: Deirdre’s bridesmaid/cousin Stevee did their entire bridal party’s makeup plus hair and did such a fantastic job. Local Northland makeup artist Cassidy from Artistry Brows & Beauty did Keva’s makeup with a “natural glow” brief and Rosie from Holm, Tutukaka did Keva’s hair. We both did the bare minimum to get ready for the wedding as far as treatments go. If anything, Deirdre did something very un-special by accidentally blowing off one of her eyebrows and half her hairline two weeks before our wedding day! (Make sure to read the safety instructions on your new gas pizza oven!)
THE FLOWERS
Keva and Deirdre: Keva’s dad, Malcolm, grew a whole variety of flowers for the wedding, timing them perfectly to bloom in March and Keva’s Aunty Andrea, cut and designed them in vases that Keva and Deirdre sourced from family and local op-shops. Andrea also put together large leafy arrangements from greenery Keva’s parents had grown at their home in Matapouri. And Uncle Ben from Blue Nikau in Ngunguru provided a large amount of sub-tropical plants for marquee and ceremony decorations.
THE FOOD
Keva and Deirdre: There’s an unspoken rule in Island families that the most embarrassing thing at any function is if the food is bad or worse, if it runs out. We designed what our favourite plate of food would look like and then hired multiple vendors to help create it. Gav, the local meat guy cooked the pigs and lamb in his epic portable spit, a lovely Samoan family cooked chop suey, palusami, taro and rice, Keva’s mum, Melanie, made our potato salad and Keva’s dad, Malcolm, grew our green salads. Local talent Taverna provided a delicious vegetarian/vegan option, Keva’s cousins Chris and Lindy made a massive seafood paella, and our big cousins made the condiments — their famous chilli oil, beetroot chutney and courgette pickle!
THE CAKE
Keva and Deirdre: Keva’s cousin, Lili, designed, baked and decorated our wedding cake, a divine vanilla chiffon sponge with a créme patisserie and a raspberry coulis layer with a chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream topped with two bride wedding toppers hand painted by our dear friend Claudia Jowitt.
THE RECEPTION
Keva and Deirdre: We had the reception at the same location. It was beautiful and very hot. We hired three big stretch marquees and it was incredible. Our friend Jess Palalagi was the perfect MC, keeping us on time and everyone chuckling and informed. The speeches were a lovely balance of hilarious and earnest, and there was lots of dancing, haka, icecream, kids running around, wedding cake and cackling laughter. Seeing our families and friends blending and having a great time together was a highlight.
THE PHOTOS
Keva and Deirdre: Apela Bell is a favourite photographer and collaborator of Papa. We bumped into Apela and his partner at a Palestine rally a few months before the wedding and he offered to take our photos. We were overjoyed to have an artist with a beautiful eye capture our day and he did exceptionally well. Apela also enlisted the skills of Auckland-based artist Synthia Bahati to video the day.
THE DAY
Keva and Deirdre: We understand now why people say their wedding is the best day of their adult lives — it was true for us too. You have all your favourite people in one place, you look your best, someone is always making sure your glass is full and everyone’s a little drugged up on love and prosecco.
Being brown and queer, our communities struggle with meaningful visibility that exists past tired tropes. Brown queer women experience marginality within that invisibility due to our intersectional positionings. So it felt healing to have our love honoured. Deirdre danced a siva Samoa for Keva, and Keva danced a Hawaiian hula for Deirdre — two expressions of our cultures that settlers historically tried to ban in the islands as part of the colonial project but are also often performed between a husband and wife. So there were all these moments throughout the day where our culture/queerness were intersecting to create manifestations of our joy.
We were grateful that our nieces and nephews got to witness a commitment being made like ours, and mingle among the communities we belong to too.
THE MOMENTS
Keva and Deirdre: Just as the formalities were wrapping up, our family surprised us with a haka. Haka is already such an emotional experience but seeing our young nieces, nephews, brother, cousins, and friends tautoko us in that way had us both sobbing. Deirdre, her cousin Stevee and Keva’s sister Ahi immediately started the bus stop when Earth Wind and Fire’s, September started playing, which everyone tried to join in to whether they knew it or not, with equal enthusiasm.
ANY TIPS
Keva and Deirdre: The day will go by so quickly, take stock as many times as you can throughout the day and make sure you get photos and videos to relive it all later. We bought a handful of disposable cameras and enlisted the help of wedding guests to capture their view of the day. It means we were able to see our day through the lens of different guests at the wedding. And make sure to plan a better “kick-ons” playlist because ours only lasted an hour after the DJ clocked off so we ended up singing karaoke to sad country music while our cousin danced an Irish jig.
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