Now in its 10th year of operation, wellness utopia Aro Hā continues to adapt to its guests’ changing needs, as founding partner Damian Chapparo talks to Dan Ahwa about reframing the way men can play a more proactive role in their wellbeing – physically, mentally and emotionally.
What it
On the new season of Married At First Sight Australia (a TV show where the producers are acutely aware of the chaos they’re unleashing on-screen), the brazen display of grooms and their requests for wives that fulfil their “non-negotiables” of petite and subservient partners is a timely reminder of why, as a society, we immediately question the motive of trad wives over trad husbands.
On Netflix, Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever chronicles tech millionaire Bryan Johnson’s obsessive mission to extend his life, even going so far as to complete the world’s first multi-generational plasma exchange with his 19-year-old son Talmage, whose night-time erections are also part of Bryan’s data collection to measure the “quality” and duration of Talmage’s boners compared to his own.
There’s the performative masculinity displayed by everyone from TikTok influencers and “boy bosses” with their creative start-ups, earnestly talking about their hustle on podcasts; and the performative masculinity of political leaders, Proud Boys, and the artist formerly known as Kanye West and his declaration of “dominion” over his wife Bianca Censori.
It’s only February, but the fatigue from men’s insecurity masked as bravado is already at peak levels.
Then there’s Damian Chapparo, the charismatic American founding partner of Glenorchy’s multi-award-winning Aro Hā Wellness Retreat, who is one of many men helping others sink deeper into their emotional and physical beings.
“Approximately a quarter of our clients are men, but it changes year to year,” explains Damian when we connect over a video call. “Aro Hā is appealing to men because we offer a diverse range of activities including hiking, and strength training, along with things that might generally be less appealing for men such as meditation, yoga, and eating a plant-based diet. As a stereotype, men aren’t very good at self-care. I think for most men, it’s completely alien.”
At 49, Damian is a picture of health. His skin glows. He’s a new father of a 1-year-old baby girl, Mila, with wife Anna, who works as a ceremonialist and therapist with a passion for IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.Damian speaks with intention – slowly, thoughtfully, and purposefully. His face rests naturally in a state of zen. In a world of toxic masculinity, he assures me there are men still committed to doing the confronting work of taking care of themselves.
“The Sydney Roosters players will come over and spend time with us, and I know that the All Blacks do yin yoga because one of my friends teaches them. They turn the lights off, light candles, and have these physical and meditative experiences as part of their training.”
“Some of the top CEOs in the world have very consistent meditation practices. There’s so much proof not only in the literature and research, but also in the people who are really excelling in this life, who are using these tools and using these practices successfully. If you are hesitant or if it feels like it’s only for women, or it feels too woo-woo or too spiritual I would say, just try it. Give yourself a little bit of time to get comfortable with it. It is different if you’ve never sat in stillness and all of a sudden you’re still.
“It’s very likely that you’re going to notice a lot is going on inside.”
But Aro Hā makes it near impossible to avoid self-reflection, whatever gender you identify as. The luxury eco-retreat is picturesque, sitting on 8.4 hectares, and on January 14 this year it celebrated its 10th anniversary.
Damian, who studied permaculture at Esalen in California’s Big Sur (yes that’s where Don Draper escaped to in the finale of Mad Men) also cut his teeth working at the Ashram retreat centre just out of LA, running his own pop-up retreats, where he had lunch with regular guest Chris Madison, a hedge fund manager from Boston who decided to fund Damian’s vision for Aro Hā.
The concept is simple. Open a retreat that offers transformative wellbeing experiences and the people will come. And they have. In the past decade, visitors both local and international have descended upon Aro Hā, aiding its image as a wellbeing utopia that combines sustainable practices with cutting-edge technology.
“There is an increased interest in what’s going on inside, and now there seems to be a more recent interest in longevity and in what we call quantifying wellbeing. I think people are interested in what’s going on in their body and how they can live a longer, healthier life.”
READ: Navy Suits And Conservatism: Dressing Fragile Masculinity In A Trump Era
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.For anyone who has never experienced a wellness retreat of this level, it’s easy to write it off as folly for the 1%, the stereotypical image of a Nicole Kidman-type character wafting about the estate enveloped in a cashmere pashmina is hard to shake.
A six-day, all-inclusive retreat can cost up to $8000. But Damian makes a convincing argument that people save up that amount for a holiday in Europe anyway – so why not invest in a trip that offers an investment back into your health?
Now, Aro Hā has been known to deliver real results with several returning clients from various economic and social backgrounds.
“Over the years, people seem to come to us when they’re in a period of transition,” says Damian, who has seen it all when it comes to the impact of modern life on the human condition.
“To put it into perspective, when I started running retreats, there was zero conversation about tech and doing a tech detox. Nobody really had smartphones. In fact, the first iPhone hadn’t been released. So in the compounding of time, I would say it feels to me like it’s becoming a bigger issue and I don’t see it going away. We really speak to that aspect of change that’s happening in our world.”
Damian is also on that tech detox journey, finding ways to make social media work for him, deleting apps like Facebook and Instagram on his phone.
“I figured ‘What if you only allowed yourself twice a week where you would reinstall the apps? Then you could post, engage, do whatever you need to do. You give yourself a set amount of time, and then by the end of the day, you’ve deleted them again.
“Some people will give us their phones and have us put them in a safe so that they don’t even have a choice. People really understand they need to unplug and truly feel the distinct difference in what their life is like without tech, which can be powerful.”
As for men, whether you’re on a solo wellness journey or planning a trip with friends and family, Damian says it’s an opportunity to not shirk the real work of deep self-reflection at a time when men’s problematic behaviours have compounded in the public eye.
“I am often amazed at the men that come who are initially guarded and quite suspicious.
“By the end, they have these big hearts and eyes that well up full of tears. I’d say often for the first time in their lives, they are finally having a deeper connection with who they are. I’ve done some work in men’s groups, and I know that when men are around other men, they can be vulnerable – there’s always much more underneath the surface.
“There’s also an enormous amount of value in having men and women together in a healthy space. I think it’s often healing in particular for women to be around men who are in a higher frequency of themselves.”
As a new father, Damian has also found a connection with men who need to deal with another complex aspect of masculinity: fatherhood.
“I had a lot of apprehension around being a father. Some men are blessed with knowing they want big families and knowing exactly where they want to go, and they were driven towards having family. I was not that.
“Now I just see fathers and families. I see them in their joy and their hardship, and I can relate to all of it. There is the stereotype of the father’s role of being the doer and the money maker, but there is more to that man when they’re able to slow down.”
For a place where people go to bare their souls, isn’t that a lot of emotional baggage for him to deal with?
“Yeah, that’s a good question,” he says reflectively. “Mainly what we’re doing is facilitating people understanding themselves. We don’t need to convince anyone of anything. We don’t actually need to teach anyone anything. Aro Hā’s philosophy is really one of giving the gift of space to better know yourself” says Damian.
“Until you’ve done it, that just sounds like words. But when you actually feel the experience, the aha! moment of understanding where those emotions and those hardships come from and those moments that have really kind of shaped us ... To recognise those moments through a different lens is so liberating.”
What Damian is also clear about is how the holistic can impact your external state of being. In a digital age when everyone is bombarded with the pressures of being valued for their physical appearance, does what’s on the inside still matter?
“Humans will always have a fear of death and one thing that’s happening is we are increasingly able to measure all sorts of things, including biological age. The way we approach it is from the inside out. You can gain two years of life in six days just by being attentive to your wellbeing. Longevity is connected to the way you feel.
“The measure of success for us is in the lightness of being of our guests. You can’t get a facial or your nails done at Aro Hā,” Damian says laughing.
“We don’t really care about what you look like.
“We care about what you feel like.”
Dan Ahwa is creative director and a senior premium lifestyle journalist for The New Zealand Herald, specialising in the intersections of style, luxury, art and culture.
More wellbeing stories
Health is wealth.
How To Spark Joy In Your Life. Psychologist Juli Fraga explains how to heighten your awareness of the potential for joy.
Meet 11 Inspiring New Zealanders Opening Up About Their Mental Health Challenges. Behind the Smile, spotlights how creativity and culture can help healing.
Dr Libby: Already Exhausted? Here’s Why And How To Heal Your Stressed Body. Recovering from the cycle of stress and exhaustion starts with recognising the signs, and taking deliberate steps to help your body heal, writes Dr Libby Weaver.
New Year, Same Problems? These Small Changes Could Make A Big Difference To Your Life Outlook. On a mission to course-correct stagnancy in 2025? Start small.
