Wellbeing coach and author Dr Luke Sniewski suggests a powerful way to overcome unhealthy habits.
Q: “Last year I resolved to stop my incessant snacking, a habit that led to unnecessary weight gain. I did quite well until March then slid back into my old ways. The year before that
A: Here’s the common experience for many of us seeking change — in any aspect or context. We set goals. That’s the easy part. Our mind enjoys visualising the finish line and fantasising about how things will be different then or there.
We then lean hard against our willpower as we attempt to implement the plans and strategies intended to take us smoothly to our aspirations. Willpower — as we all know from experience — doesn’t last long.
When we only focus on outcome and rely solely on our discipline and willpower, it’s only a matter of weeks, days or sometimes even hours, that we find ourselves back at square one or having taken two steps back. This is what happens when we are only focusing on where we are going without taking into account where we are now.
We can’t permanently and sustainably move towards point ‘B’ until we fully understand our point ‘A’. This is why self-awareness is the starting point for authentic change.
Stillness is the birthplace of self-awareness. When we become still (some might call the practice meditation, but I prefer stillness as it’s less burdened by the dogma and assumptions frequently associated with meditation), we are able to connect to the present moment experience of the body, namely the thoughts, emotions and body sensations that typically trigger us and make us automatically reach for the very same substances and behaviours we are trying to move away from.
Through stillness, we allow these impulses deep within the body to settle, thus cultivating the capacity to choose something new, fresh and different. It’s through stillness that we are able to reflect and understand ourselves, making it easier to make more conscious and responsive decisions rather than falling into the same old habitual, subconscious reactions. It may sound paradoxical, but it’s stillness that helps us stay on the path towards our goals and intentions.
Stillness creates the space between stimulus and reaction that Victor Frankl has famously described as ‘the space which empowers us to choose growth and freedom’.
There is a space between feeling stressed and reaching for our favourite sugary snack, between feeling sad and reaching for a glass of wine, and between feeling pain and reacting with anger.
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Advertise with NZME.Stillness makes us aware of this space and empowers us to choose a different response. We can choose something different. We can change. This is why at the very core of authentic change, we find stillness.
Dr Luke Sniewski is a wellbeing coach, somatic therapist and author of the new book, ‘Somawise: Get out of your head, get into your body,’ available on Amazon.com
