Jesse Mulligan Restaurant Recommendations: What To Do If You Have A Bad Time Dining Out

In this fortnightly series, Viva’s resident dining-out editor shares advice on where and what to eat.

Do you have any restaurant-related questions or dining-out dilemmas? Jesse Mulligan is here to help.

Email Jesse at Viva@nzherald.co.nz and tell him what you need. Where and what do you like to eat? How much do you want to spend? If you’re just visiting, where are you staying while you’re in town? Who are you eating with? Does anybody have access issues?

Here are some questions he’s been asked lately and his answers.

Hi Jesse,

I would like your advice on how to handle a poor experience in a restaurant.

We recently did a weekend trip to a restaurant out of town (we live in Dunedin) and were excited to visit this place because it has received rave reviews and awards.

It was awful. They forgot us – our mains took over an hour to arrive (asked two times) and they “were busy”, very little apology, made us feel like we were being unreasonable. Tables around us arriving later and being fed before us ...

We ate the food (it was mediocre) and left, they avoided us on the way out. I was pretty clear about how unhappy I was at the table – but how do YOU deal with this because Kiwis are inherently bad at being honest and we just say “it’s fine it’s fine” when in fact it’s not.

Thanks,

JC

Dear JC,

True story: feeling frustrated about bad experiences I could do nothing about was one of the reasons I decided to become a restaurant reviewer. At least then I’d be able to tell people about it and exact some sort of revenge! Hopefully now that I’m a bit more senior in the role revenge isn’t a motivating factor, but I can totally feel your pain.

Because the fact is you can’t do anything about someone who doesn’t want to be better. Clive James once said that a marriage can survive anything but a lack of goodwill, and I think that’s where I’m at with your restaurant experience: they didn’t like you from the start, didn’t want to hear about it and will be unlikely to respond to a follow-up email (though if the owner wasn’t there that night I would definitely send one). As such, there’s no real way of putting this right.

Should you leave a nasty review online? That’s up to you (btw for readers: I’ve chosen not to print the name of the restaurant in this column, but it’s in the South Island). It might make you feel heard and if you’ve tried every other way to give the restaurant a chance to explain your poor experience, it would be hard to feel sorry for them. My advice with a critical review: just report what happened, accurately. Nobody can accuse you of being out to get them if you don’t muddy the review with what should and shouldn’t have happened instead.

Oh and come to Auckland next time! We have at least 60 restaurants I can recommend! Speaking of which …

Letter 1: Afternoon Jesse/Johanna,

Alistair

Letter 2: Hello!

Was interested to read Jesse and Johanna’s review of the top 60 restaurants in Auckland. Quite taken aback to see [restaurant name redacted] as we were totally disappointed by it. And it wasn’t inexpensive. Took one of my friends the following week to the Ponsonby Road Bistro – oh what a delight – delic food and beautiful service.

Sally

Letter 3: Hi Jesse,

I just read your top 60 restaurants. I know there’s always going to be someone bleating about why wasn’t restaurant x in your list ... but ... WHY WASN’T CAVE A VIN IN MILFORD ON YOUR LIST?! In my humble opinion this hole-in-the-wall, Melbourne-esque natural wine bar with sensational seasonal food and a small posse of the most dedicated passionate staff one could ever ask for blows some of your other top 50 restaurants out of the water.

Naera

Guys, I’m pleased to hear from you, and to share your feedback with the world.

I used to say “a list of best restaurants that doesn’t make some people upset is not a very good list”, though perhaps I’m letting myself off the hook here. “A list of best restaurants that everyone loves and you receive no complaints about would be awesome” is less catchy, but true.

Anyway Alistair we dined at the restaurant you mentioned, together, a week before you did. We don’t take back any of the accolades we gave it, but we sadly acknowledge that even a good restaurant can have a bad night. Sorry you got it.

Sally, we also went to the place you mentioned a handful of times and though it was never going to be in the top 10, we loved what it added to the list. We visited Ponsonby Road Bistro during judging, but it didn’t make the list.

And Naera! I think I agree with you, though I’m not sure who I’d take out. Top 61 next year?

Oh, and just to prove not all the feedback we receive is negative, this came in just a couple of days ago:

Hi Jesse,

Our celebration dinner at The Grove on Saturday night was flawless. Thank you again for the recommendation.

Jonathan

Hi Jesse,

I’d like to propose to my girlfriend on Saturday night. I’ve booked in at Le Chef on Vulcan Lane, what do you think?

D

D, I love Le Chef! Would I propose to my girlfriend there? Well, I haven’t met your girlfriend but I do wonder if you should choose somewhere a bit more … special. That’s no disrespect to Le Chef, which does what it does very well (wonderful French food in a relaxed cafe-style environment), but is it the room you want her to remember for the rest of your lives?

If you’re set on the city there are plenty of places nearby that are quiet, beautiful and a little more fitting without you having to break the bank. Mr Morris springs to mind. Good luck!

Note: I received this inquiry a few weeks ago and have waited to hear back before publishing. He took her to Mr Morris, she said yes! Congratulations to both of them, though D’s chosen to remain anonymous.

Previously recommended by Jesse Mulligan

What you’ve asked, and what he’s shared.

The Best Auckland Restaurants For Peace & Quiet. Plus, where to take a child with food allergies.

Where To Find Japanese Food You’ll Love & What To Do About The Bill. Plus more on pet-friendly dining.

Where To Take A Vegetarian & Accessible Eateries. Get out of the city centre to find some of the best accessible eateries.

Great Chinese Food & Where To Go To Impress A Chef. A restaurant packed with heart, soul and a lifetime of experience that is surprisingly fun too.

Where To Go For An After-Work Drink; The Strangest Things I’ve Found In My Food. Plus, news from a beloved bar on Karangahape Rd.

Auckland’s Top Thai Spots; Where To Go For A Quiet, Romantic Dinner. From big menus and a sublime satay sauce to lovely lighting and good acoustics.

Where To Go For Good Gnocchi; A Drink In Mt Eden. Try three different styles of gnocchi cooked traditionally, and Jesse’s current favourite.