JACUZZI
Cuisine: Bistro
Contact: Jacuzziponsonby.co.nz
Address: 150 Ponsonby Rd, Ponsonby
Drinks: Fully licensed
Reservations: Accepted
From the menu: Tomato salad $28; scampi crumpet $28; pork skewers $19; beef tartare cannoli $18; tuna tostada $18; flounder $37
Rating: 18/20
Score: 0-7 Steer clear. 8-12 Disappointing, give it a miss.
The name SPQR evokes all the best/worst parts of the old Ponsonby Rd: dazzling/vile socialites drinking for hours in the lunchtime sun, both judging and being judged by the hundreds of pedestrians who’d pass by each afternoon. Increasingly those pedestrians looked less and less like the people dining, and eventually, they were almost all young couples pushing Mountain Buggies, braving the fragrant cloud of cigarette smoke and Chloé Narcisse on their way to the Pumpkin Patch sale. Ponsonby was changing, but SPQR was staying true to itself.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.That was until it was announced last year that the restaurant’s time was up. Like winding down a finance company or divorcing a real estate agent, it was always going to get messy, and those who are interested can read about the liquidation dramas in the pages of this newspaper. But most of us were already more interested in what would come next. “Everyone is desperate for you to go to Jacuzzi!” came the uncharacteristically urgent note from my editor last week. And so I hopped to it.
If you were trying to make a break from the excesses of the pre-millennium Ponsonby, you probably wouldn’t call yourself “Jacuzzi”. An Americanised term for what real Kiwis call a spa pool, the word evokes Hollywood nights, neon signage and thrice-daily doses of liquid chlorine. The new owners are clearly making a statement: we’re here to have fun. And as soon as you walk in you can tell that the party is back on.
There are few Auckland restaurants where you can dress like you’re going to the races, and Jacuzzi is now one of them, joining Soul Bar and First Mates, Last Laughs on the list of places where lunchtime hours are “noon until ????”.
I don’t have any problem with that, and though my partying days feel well behind me, the Jacuzzi demographic suggested I might have another bad behaviour window coming up when the last child has left for university.
The thing about party bars is they only work if there are some adults in the room. That’s the case at Jacuzzi, where the staff are very, very good, and numerous, and strike a brilliant balance between professionalism and permissiveness.
We started off sitting under the air conditioner inside but when we complained about the chill they found us a seat on the aforementioned outdoor tables. I only remember the SPQR ones being in single file but at Jacuzzi they are two and sometimes three abreast – they’ve recognised that this area is a key part of their appeal and have squeezed as many seats as possible in (thanks to a back room extension, the restaurant can now do a mind-boggling 170 diners at once). This means you’re elbow to elbow with the table next to you but if you’re not up for some light physical touching, you might be in the wrong section at the wrong restaurant anyway.
We arrived early and for the first half-hour it seemed like nobody was ordering food – they were happy with espresso martinis and vape pens. But we were hungry, so we ordered a round of bubbles (Moet at a brilliant $19 a glass) and a bunch of things from a very appealing, seafood-heavy menu.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.Crudo is a compulsory choice for this sort of crowd and the Jacuzzi chef has created a whole raw menu around it, meaning you can order five different things and look like you’re being imaginative. We went with a really lovely Mexican-themed tuna tostada (just the one, which was unusual for a sharing menu) – big cubes of crimson fish with a decently spicy jalapeno creme fraiche and a bright green salsa.
Scampi crumpets weren’t quite the honeycomb classics I’d been expecting – more like thick pikelets and borderline stodgy though the carbs helped balance the lovely rich seafood on top, finished with some sliced raw fennel fresh off the mandolin.
The whole flounder is a fantastic dish, perfectly cooked and easy to slip off the bone without any stray bits of spine making their way onto your fork. The flat fish was piled high with crab – something I haven’t seen before – and it turned a bistro classic into an indulgent centrepiece, with plenty of melted chilli butter adding fat and heat to the lean fish meat.
They can do a big steak if you want it, and also offer a caviar “bump” for those who still find the language of drug-taking glamorous. Like I say, I don’t have a problem with it and I think Ponsonby needs at least one of these sorts of restaurants, lest it turn into Northcote Point.
Just after 7pm, we stepped back inside to pay the bill and the place was jam-packed. Apparently it’s been like this since they opened, and there’s a prospect that they might push beyond dinner service and into the midnight hour.
“We’re licensed until 2am,” said our waiter, with a mix of pride and trepidation. “Oh, make sure you check out the toilets behind the pink doors before you go.”
He was referring to a beautiful mosaic, created by owners’ father. It’s a lovely decorative touch and a totem for the personal attention that seems to be Jacuzzi’s secret sauce.
“People love it,” the proud daughter told me as I handed over my credit card. “We can’t get the girls out of that toilet!”
Well, of all the reasons to be delayed in the Jacuzzi toilets, that’s a pretty wholesome one. Put on your party shoes and go get delayed yourself.
More restaurant reviews
According to dining out editor Jesse Mulligan.
Full Time Sports Bar isn’t your average pub grub. The Kingsland sports bar takes its food seriously.
Hanoi Haven In Takapuna Serves A Knockout Duck Curry. The food gets better and better at this Hurstmere Rd Vietnamese restaurant.
Olle in Milford is Korean fusion at its finest. A rare meal where everything goes right.
Is Piha Restaurant Aryeh Worth The Drive? It’s definitely worth a look, says Jesse.
Ada’s New Chapter Is Just Brilliant. The Grey Lynn bistro heralds a bright new chapter with chef Alfie Ingham.
Britomart’s Seafood Bistro Kingi Has A New Chef. But the team needs work.
The College Hill Wine Room Is A Freemans Bay Wine Bar. It’s not just for the rich and famous.
