Just before Christmas Rebecca Wadey felt a lump in her good breast. Suppressed fears flooded back, reminding her of the "isolation and the terror" of the disease that struck her 12 years earlier.
"I had to worry it out over Christmas with everything shut down and I had to get through Christmas keeping my anxieties in check."
She drew on skills learned during earlier counselling sessions to keep it together around her husband and two young sons. "I replayed conversations with my counsellor in my head."
Wadey, now 38, was first diagnosed with breast cancer before she had children. Counselling wasn't offered, so she battled through surgery, chemotherapy and hormone therapy feeling very much alone.
She was told the treatments meant getting pregnant might prove impossible. False ovarian and secondary cancer scares followed.
"When I was first diagnosed I got into fighting mode, 'I'm going to nail chemo, I'm going to nail surgery', but afterwards you feel like you've seen a really horrific car crash and you can't forget it."
It wasn't until she broke down in her GP's office a few years later that she was finally referred for counselling. "It kept me sane," she says now. "When you're young you've got so many years to live through what you've gone through."
Luckily for Wadey, the pre-Christmas scare turned out to be just that. A normal benign cyst was the cause of the alarm. But her experiences, especially as a very young sufferer, are what has made her happy to speak out as an ambassador for the Breast Cancer Foundation, including for its latest campaign to provide more counselling services.
"It's amazing now that people are starting to recognise the benefits of that kind of support."
Wadey says public awareness of risks and availability of treatments is vital. "Getting the message out to young women is important because early detection is your best protection."
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Advertise with NZME.Counselling was an "absolute lifesaver" for her, but it also helped take the pressure off loved ones. Being able to talk to a "voice that wasn't judging" was empowering. It also helped Wadey gain the strength and confidence to make other changes in her life as a coping mechanism. She reconnected with her body through exercise and improved diet and switched focus from fashion publicity and writing to running a wellbeing centre where she offers yoga and other courses to those going through cancer treatment.
The whole family has now adopted a healthier lifestyle, she says. "When you're fit and agile and full of good food you can process things better. If I'm hungover or eating fish and chips every night, I can't deal as well with what life throws up."
Wadey says the spectre of cancer will always remain an issue for survivors to deal with psychologically, but the healthy living changes she has made, including her stint in counselling, mean "I feel I can live my best life".
Rebecca shared her inspiring story with a TEDx talk last year - watch it here:
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