5 Couples Share The Perfume They Share, Swap and Love To Smell On Each Other

Because any fragrance can be a genderless fragrance if you deem it as such.

Whichever scent you arm yourself with in the morning is an inherently personal decision.

The fragrance that follows you throughout the day can imbue confidence ahead of a big board meeting, set the tone for your date night, or hit the refresh button more than your morning espresso.

Yes, perfume and its ability to influence, evoke or reminisce has defined how we show up in the world for more than 4000 years. But somewhere along the journey, someone decided fragrances should be separated into different camps based on gender — homme (masculine) or femme (feminine).

Ahead of Valentine’s Day, we’re here to remind you that fragrance is for everyone. All tropes aside, if a certain scent appeals to you – go right ahead and wear it.

You can be non-binary and exclusively wear neroli-spiked scents, a man who will only reach for rose, or a woman who prefers dry woods with hints of leather.

Genderless scents break the boundaries of traditional perfumery by blending different elements from the olfactory spectrum, ranging from citrusy fresh elements and powdery florals through to spicy aromatics and warm woods. Some with the goal of achieving scent neutrality, although we argue that’s highly subjective.

Below, we asked five couples to fling open their fragrance wardrobes and share the scents they love to swap or share regularly, reaching for each one as a means to connect with their partner or appeal to their own set of preferences, along with one they’d love to be surprised with on February 14.

What’s your favourite scent that your partner wears, and why?

Sean: Tau and I decided to gift each other the new Comme de Garçons perfume for Christmas. We always consult each other [before buying perfume] as it really is an investment. Tau got Rouge and I got Blue Santal but we also have our daytime loves. Currently, Tau’s rocking CK1 and I’m rocking Aesop Virere.

Have you ever traded scents with your partner?

Sean: Totally! Over the years with metro collection perfumes, we’re always swapping scents.

What’s one scent you’d like to be given for Valentine’s Day?

Sean: As for Valentine’s Day, we always ask for what we want, never set each other up to fail! Tau prefers much heavier fragrances than me. I’d ask for Lamyland by Rick Owens, which is my dream perfume, or something from Tom Ford.

Shop Sean & Tau’s Picks: Comme des Garçons Rouge 100ml eau de parfum, $307; Comme des Garçons Blue Santal 100ml eau de parfum, $246; Calvin Klein CK One 200ml eau de toilette, $45; Aesop Virere 50ml eau de parfum, $220; Rick Owens Lamyland, $2900 (approx).

What’s your favourite scent that your partner wears, and why?

Sam: I’m married to a beauty editor, so she wears a few. There’s two new ones on our dresser that smell exactly like Ash: Giorgio Armani Si Passione Intense and Prada Paradoxe. Along with Abel Pink Iris, but she’s used that for a while. Jo Malone London Peony & Blush Suede reminds me of our wedding day (Ash saves it for date nights or anniversaries).

Ash: Tom Ford Ebene Fume is Sam’s go-to on the weekends. He doesn’t really wear scent much during the week (it would likely be wasted on the job site). It’s exactly as the brand describes it – smoky, rich and seductive – and every time Sam spritzes it on I always go in for a quick sniff. If he’s after something a little lighter, he’ll reach for Giorgio Armani Code, which he’s worn for years. It’s a really familiar, comforting scent to me and brings back so many memories from when we were young, dumb and dating.

Have you ever traded scents with your partner?

Sam: I can’t say I have.

Ash: My obsession with Ebene Fume runs so deep that sometimes I’ll spritz a little on in secret at night-time – it’s the perfect “going out” scent.

What’s one scent you’d like to be given for Valentine’s Day?

Sam: A top-up of the Tom Ford.

Ash: I was given a sample size of the Who is Elijah Electric Soul eau de parfum during a recent press trip and I’ve been daydreaming about it ever since.

Shop Ash & Sam’s Picks: Giorgio Armani Si Intense 30ml eau de parfum, $170; Prada Paradoxe 50ml eau de parfum, $219; Abel Pink Iris 50ml eau de parfum, $270; Jo Malone London Peony & Blush Suede 100ml cologne, $282; Ellis Brooklyn Salt 50ml eau de parfum, $206; Tom Ford Ebene Fume 50ml eau de parfum, $460; Giorgio Armani Code 75ml eau de toilette, $140; Who Is Elijah Electric Soul 100ml eau de parfum, $200.

Michael Beel, celebrity and editorial hairstylist & Sidney Collier, educator at Oranga Tamariki

What’s your favourite scent that your partner wears, and why?

Sidney: When Michael wears Tom Ford Black Orchid, because it celebrates a moment in time that we honour and respect someone we both loved that has passed! The smell of those deep musky notes takes us back to the moment in time and we celebrate this amazing human!

Michael: When Sidney wears Le Labo Santal 33 – I love the smell so much, there’s something about it that smells masculine, in control and fresh at the same time!

Have you ever traded scents with your partner?

Sidney: “Yes – Tom Ford Oud Wood! I was curious to see how it smelt on me, and it was a nice transition into a different world.

Michael: “In our early years yes, as I loved his fresher scents that he prefers like Clinique Happy and old school CK scents – especially during the hotter seasons! As we’ve moved through life we have slightly different vibes so our bathroom is filled with so many fabulous bottles.

What’s one scent you’d like to be given for Valentine’s Day?

Sidney: There’s two – Le Labo Gaiac 10 because it’s exclusive and hard to find and Louis Vuitton Imagination. I love the freshness this scent has.

Michael: Tom Ford F***ing Fabulous, purely for the name because I am f***ing fabulous haha.

Shop Michael & Sidney’s Picks: Tom Ford Black Orchid 50ml eau de parfum, $295; Le Labo Santal 33 50ml, $430; Tom Ford Oud Wood 50ml eau de parfum, $460; Clinique Happy 50ml, $139; Le Labo Gaiac 10 50ml, $430; Tom Ford F*cking Fabulous 50ml, $650.

Ben Ryken, real estate agent & Miky Ryken, Rey The Label founder

What’s your favourite scent your partner wears, and why?

Miky: Ben’s scent is Comme de Garçons Wonderwood and I couldn’t be more obsessed. It’s masculine and it has so much depth to it. I love that I rarely smell it on other people, so it feels really unique to him.

Ben: Us by Neandertal — it’s a really smoky, sultry smell. I like it because it gives off a strong, confident energy.

Have you ever traded scents with your partner?

Miky: Ben doesn’t know this but a lot of the time, I’ll buy him a scent that I can also get away with wearing. My favourite has been Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille.

Ben: I think I have had my Tobacco Vanille by Tom Form perfume used a few times more by Miky than I would have liked! I don’t mind it being used but if it’s my favourite one I get a bit greedy.

What’s one scent you’d like to be given for Valentine’s Day?

Miky: Loewe 001.

Ben: I would love to try Maison Margiela Replica By The Fire Place.

Shop Miky & Ben’s Picks: Comme de Garçons Wonderwood 100ml eau de parfum, $246; Neandertal Us Perfum 30ml, $205; Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille 50ml eau de parfum, $460; Loewe 001 100ml eau de parfum, $275; Maison Margiela Replica By The Fireplace 100ml eau de toilette, $253.

Ashleigh Scott & Scott Glacken, co-founders of The Facialist and Noody Skincare

What’s your favourite scent that your partner wears, and why?

Ashleigh: Bleu de Chanel, I bought it for my husband when I went away last year and love the smell on him.

Have you ever traded scents with your partner?

Ashleigh: Yes! My husband has a couple of Aesop scents, they are very masculine but still feel unisex.

What’s one scent you’d like to be given for Valentine’s Day?

Ashleigh: Byredo Rose Of No Man’s Land.

Shop Ashleigh & Scott’s Picks: Bleu de Chanel 100ml eau de parfum, $260; Aesop Hwyl 50ml eau de parfum, $220; Byredo Rose Of No Man’s Land 100ml eau de parfum, $491.