You’ve heard of vegetarians. And you’ve heard of flexitarians people who are meat eaters some days and vegetarians others but who couldn’t care less whether there’s chicken stock in the risotto. Well, now there are reducetarians.
According to RSPCA, more than a third of Britian's population now follows a reducetarian diet limiting meat, dairy and eggs, for reasons to do with health, sustainability and, presumably, the Ottolenghi-fication of food. A quarter of those aren't even aware they're doing it; they're just more inclined to eat pulses and grilled aubergines, although, in my experience, this only comes naturally to females.
For every reducetarian male, you know there is a woman in the background frowning when he offers to cook “the thing with chorizo” and vetting restaurant orders: “Don’t have the burger... seriously.”
We seem to be in the reducing mood, generally. Reducetarianism is a lifestyle choice, and it’s rolling out everywhere. For example:
Flashing The Cash
When the rich fly first-class, they make their children fly economy (see Gordon Ramsay and British TV presenter Kirstie Allsopp) and then boast about it. That said, I have just seen a woman in the park with two children in two prams pushed by two nannies, so they may be reducing travel costs, but they're not cutting back on staff.
Phone Use
Simon Cowell has not used his phone for 10 months; a year ago, that sort of behaviour would have looked very David Icke, as well as being career suicide for someone in Cowell's position. Now it looks modern (even though it doesn't really count when you employ teams of people who are doing all the dirty phone work for you).
Sun-Worshipping
At least doing a lot less of the old-style lie-out-in-the-noonday-sun-smothered-in-babyoil-and-fry routine. Reducetarians are the ones who want the sun lounger in the shade.
Reducetarian Dressing
This is doing a Duchess of Cambridge and wearing the same outfit over and over, because you're not a clothes hog.
Talking About Politics
Who can face it anymore? We haven't even got around to discussing America's partial government shut down. Okay, Trump keeps us on our toes but we'd rather talk about something else, thanks.
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We really are doing this. If we forget the reusable shopping bag it is a major issue, and everyone berates themselves, the way they might had they missed a flight.
Photos
Specifically selfies. Now, please God, with an Italian man taking one in front of emergency medics working on a woman hit by a train, selfie-taking has become as undesirable as flashing.
Holidays
A couple of years ago, you did the six-stop tour around Sri Lanka, before that Africa, but now all you want to do is sit under a tree at the closest beach.
Smoking
There's a lot less of it about. Even the 20-somethings are politely vaping.
Time Spent In Shops
Judging by high-street closures, reducetarians never browse. Also, the definition of a reducetarian is someone who gets an organic vegetable box delivered once a week and then uses it all, even the bananas.
TV
Only joking.
