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Greg Dixon’s Another Kind of Politics is a weekly column that appears on listener.co.nz on Friday mornings. If you enjoy a “serious laugh” - and complaining about politics and politicians - you’ll enjoy reading Greg’s latest grievances.
It was the decision that stopped a nation. It was the decision some believed should never have been taken. It was the decision so shocking people will be talking about it for generations to come.
No, not Joe Biden falling on his sword, possibly after losing his footing.
It is the decision by ex-Green MP Darleen Tana to this week give the nation the finger. Instead of doing the honourable thing and leaving Parliament, she turned up, declared herself an independent and said she will continue taking a seat in the House.
No matter that the first-time MP was only in Parliament in the first place because she was unlucky number 13 on the Greens’ list.
No matter that an independent report into what she knew and when about alleged worker exploitation by her husband’s soon-to-be liquidated business said Tana’s “credibility was significantly compromised”. (She disputes the report’s findings, of course).
No matter that she resigned from the Green Party shortly before she was sacked by her colleagues.
No matter that she has been politely and repeatedly asked to make way for the next person on the Greens’ list.
No matter that she has no mandate at all for continuing as an MP — or to keep banking her $168,000 salary.
Whatever else can be said about Darleen Tana, she has a brass neck you can see from space.
You would think that if anything was going to send her the message that she’s way, way out on a political limb, then it would be the new seat she’s been given in the House: it’s right up the back, in a corner and under a wooden plaque commemorating one of last century’s most pointless, losing fights: the Vietnam War.
Why is she bothering to dig in? Tana told reporters that, “I’ve been very keen to do the mahi. I’m determined to keep serving the people.”
Quite what “mahi” she is doing — apart from moving her stuff to a new office — is hard to gauge, though one suggestion might be that she should sit quietly up the back of the House and think carefully about what she can learn from Joe Biden.
He is a politician who has given more than half a century of service to his party and his country, and he wanted — possibly deserved — more than anything to give four more years to both. However, when asked to step aside, he did right by his party and his country. There is dignity in that decision.
Tana has so far achieved nothing in national politics. She has been an MP for nine months but spent about half of that on gardening leaving before resigning from the Greens. Yet when she was asked to step aside for the good of her now former party and her country, she refused.
The Greens may yet have the last word. The party holds its annual conference this weekend and it’s safe money that between the vegan suppers and the tree hugging, the biggest topic of conversation will be what to do about Tana — and whether to force her out using the waka-jumping legislation.
All in all it will be pretty sad conference whatever that decision, not least because the party has lost so many MPs since last October’s election.
We here at Another Kind of Politics suggest party members have a lovely singsong on the conference’s final night to cheer themselves up, perhaps a waiata like this one, sung to the tune of Dexys Midnight Runners’ Come On Eileen.
All together now …
Come on Darleen,
You’re no longer a Green,
At this moment,
You stand for nothing,
Yet you’re still in the House,
Clinging on like a louse,
You’re making the Greens so low,
Darleen, please just go
Come on Darleen
You’re just being mean,
At this moment,
You stand for nothing,
You should use your nous,
And just leave the House,
Forego the taxpayers’ dough,
Darleen, please just go
Keep up the great work, Louise
It’s with great pleasure that Another Kind of Politics bestows the Employee of the Month Award on National’s Social Development Minister Louise Upston.
Upston this week impressed everyone by forgetting to turn up to introduce the Regulatory Systems (Social Security) Amendment Bill. The bill, which was in her name, was supposed to have its first reading at Parliament on Wednesday.
Her sterling work and attention to detail led to Parliament setting the bill aside. Thanks to her efforts, she’s generated more work for Parliament’s hard-working staff now that the bill has to go back to select committee so it can be reintroduced sometime in the future.
Louise’s praiseworthy performance has impressed everyone, no doubt including the Prime Minister, the down-to-earth multimillionaire Christopher Luxon, who as we know is a stickler when it comes to efficiency.
The Employee of the Month Awards this month comes with a voucher for a free dementia test at Wellington Hospital — don’t forget to use it, Louise!
Anyway, congratulations to Louise, and well done. As for the rest of you, you’re not worthy to wipe the sweat from Louise’s brow. Now, back to work.
Baby Reindeer, Wellington Edition
He’s the minister of transport and of local government. He’s the minister for energy and for Auckland. He might even work nights and weekends at Pizza Hut as well, for all we know.
Whatever else Simeon Brown is, he’s got to be busy, right? Yet it turns out he still has time to be a fan boy.
He was sighted recently about Parliament carrying a big book, a book with the title National at 80. And why was he carting around this 2017 history of his own party? It turns out that, like some diligent schoolboy with a year book, he was taking the volume to caucus to ask his colleagues to sign it.
Forget about all his ministries, the Prime Minister should make him a head prefect immediately.
