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Opinion: The affluent seaside Auckland suburb of Ōrākei is currently humming with the sound of genteel seething as residents mutter grimly to each other over a proposal to grace the area with its own McDonald’s restaurant.
The variety of upper-echelon nimbyism this has inspired is normally targeted at high-rise apartment buildings, social housing, skateboard parks and other hotbeds of crime and public lewdness. But there’s just something about the whiff of a Big Mac that seems to get right up the collective noses of the great and good inhabitants of the area.
From mansion to mansion, word has spread through the enclave. Residents have all the worries you would expect. In particular, there are traffic and noise concerns aplenty, although it’s questionable how noticeable these would be given the site is next to a busy Z service station.
Smelling salts were returned to bathroom cabinets when McDonald’s withdrew its original application, reportedly in response to the possibility of public notification, which would have triggered a public hearing with all the unseemly kerfuffle that would have entailed.
But the company was soon back on the Mac attack with a new application whose details appeared designed to pre-empt objections.
McDonald’s has long been touted as a learning opportunity, providing first jobs for youngsters and teaching them the virtues of punctuality, hard work and responsibility. For the older echelon, it now provides opportunities to learn the ins and out of social activism.
It also teaches computing skills, as patrons attempt to use the confusing app or instore screens to place their order, and it fosters empathy as, while doing so, diners peer into the kitchen and the pale, dead eyes of the staff whose jobs the technology is replacing. Minds are further expanded in contemplation of age-old philosophical question: what exactly qualifies as food?
Now you can add “special pleading” and “sophistry” to the subjects taught at the University of McDonald’s. In its new application, according to stuff.co.nz, it proposes that its new store will, among other community benefits, “provide for food outside normal business hours for those on shift work” and “improve the ‘visual amenity’ of the site and deter crime through ‘passive surveillance’.”
The words “Oh” and “please” come to mind.
The proposal is attracting signatures on change.org with not one but two petitions opposing it. One titled “say NO to the evil clown”, was started on April 17, apparently oblivious to the one started in October last year with the same aim, though expressed more temperately. It has 2255 signatures at the time of writing.
This is an object lesson in what people are willing to get agitated and active about. The short answer to that being: just about anything you can think of. Many petitions have predicable aims: remove Wayne Brown as mayor, introduce direct flights to Delhi, “Finish Featherston St Upgrade” and (confusingly) “Reverse the Changes to Featherston St”. But the meddlesome website also hosts pleas to “Bring back animal-shaped ravioli” and “Get Dean [Lewis] to play The Hardest Love at the summer shows”. It’s hard not to think that change.org’s original mission has become somewhat diluted.
Is there perhaps an analogy that could help us see things more clearly? Ōrākei abounds with supermarkets, bottle stores, restaurants and bars where alcohol can be obtained easily. There are currently at least seven businesses seeking alcohol licences in Ōrākei, although some of these may be renewals.
Whether alcohol or McDonald’s food does more damage to individuals and the community is something only a public health expert could say for sure. Either way, it’s obvious that as far as the former is concerned, no efforts are being spared to ensure the smooth flow of alcohol through these leafy streets.
Depending on which source you trust, New Zealand has the fourth or fifth highest number of McDonald’s per capita in the world - behind the US, Canada, Australia and Puerto Rico and just ahead of Hong Kong. Countries that have no McDonald’s include Iraq, Libya and North Korea. Are those examples of the sort of country the residents of Ōrākei want NZ to become?
Disclaimer: the writer of this column has developed a barely contorllable appetite for the McFlurry® with OREO® Cookies. If there are ever any signs that they are to be discontinued, I’ll be starting a petition.
