Paris is a city that loves to show off. Spectacle is the spécialité de la maison, as any tourist will have noticed. So, when it has the opportunity to display itself to the whole world non-stop for two weeks, it grasps it eagerly.
In fact, so keen has it been to demonstrate its utter fabulousness via this year’s Olympics that it is in great danger of tripping itself up in its excitement and ending up with oeuf on its visage.
Every four years, the world gets to enjoy not just the Olympics but the predictions of doom that are an inevitable part of the lead-up to the event: will the facilities be finished on time; will this or that country be welcome or excluded; will the athletes find the weather too hot or too cold, the oxygen too thin or too thick?
Paris is no exception, although it may be the first Olympic City to have an entire Wikipedia page devoted to “Concerns and Controversies at the 2024 Summer Olympics”.
Paris has excelled itself with grand, imaginative schemes that seem fraught with risk. Take the swimming events, for instance. Someone had the bright idea of holding some of these in the iconic River Seine.
“The organisers have deliberately chosen a route for the men’s and women’s 10-kilometre [swimming] events that will showcase the beauty of the city,” reports France 24. What an attention-grabbing piece of showmanship. Especially if you’ve seen the iconic River Seine - for all its inarguable romance, the purity of its water is not the first thing you usually notice.
Pre-Olympic swims in the Seine have had to be cancelled because of poor water quality, and Brazilian Olympic champ Ana Marcela Cunha has expressed doubts about dipping any of her toes in its waters. Authorities have responded with stereotypical Gallic nonchalance. There is no Plan B.
On the banks of the Seine there has also been controversy about the presence of the city’s iconic “bouquinistes” bookstalls, the little lock-up cupboards from which creatively priced prints, posters, periodicals and other publications have been sold since the 16th century. Someone thought it would be good to remove these for the duration of the Games, citing vague “security concerns”. Outrage ensued. Decision was reversed.
Last year, an infestation of bed bugs throughout the city’s tourist accommodation caused widespread alarm and itching. Although the problem was widely reported, news about a solution is very much of the, “We’re working on it variety”.
Spare a thought also for gourmet purists, who would have been happy to see reports that the controversial iconic dish foie gras – produced by force-feeding geese in a practice banned in several countries – would be served. But sensationalist headlines about foie gras being “on the menu” turn out to refer merely to the fact that the delicacy would continue to be sold despite fears about bird flu.
For connoisseurs of iconic French farce there has been the affair of the stolen security plans. It was reported in February that a briefcase containing vital documents had been taken from a train. Then it was reported that they hadn’t.
At least the wheels of government will continue to turn. Authorities responded to whispers of strikes disrupting events by offering bonuses of between 500 and 1500 euros to civil servants for continuing to work during the Games.
More seriously, the city has turned on its poor with promises to sweep up the somewhat less iconic homeless and indigent population so that they do not get in the way of athletes, spectators or, most importantly, the world’s television cameras. In this respect, however, the Paris Olympics are hardly unique.
Not all the conniptions are based in the French capital. Far away in the colonial outpost of Tahiti, there has been a contretemps over the judging tower for the surfing events. The decision to hold them there, “tallies with Paris 2024′s ambition to spread the Games across France”, say the organisers.
Sadly, even the Seine could not be rejigged to provide waves for the women’s shortboard contest. There was controversy when construction of a new aluminium tower damaged delicate coral at the site and a new design was quickly put in place.
Paris 2024 will be distinguished by one significant Olympics first that could easily be overlooked. For the first time, equal numbers of male and female athletes will take part. And, also possibly for the first time, construction of the Olympic village has been completed on time.
All the obstacles overcome, the Games will commence and there will, hopefully, be room for some sport. Until then, competitors and officials can sleep tight and hope the bed bugs don’t bite.
