A surge in loneliness has been one of the fallouts from the pandemic - and it is the young who are suffering the most. By Nicky Pellegrino
As the Covid lockdowns retreat into our past, we are left assessing the impact they have had. It is already becoming evident that people around the world experienced a significant increase in loneliness.
A 2021 report from Harvard suggests that 36 per cent of all Americans – including 61 per cent of young adults and 51 per cent of mothers with young children – now feel serious loneliness. Even before the pandemic, it had been recognised as a problem. In 2017, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a public health crisis. The following year, the British Government appointed a Minister for Loneliness.
There is a difference between loneliness and social isolation. Some individuals may be content to be alone, while others may perceive themselves as lonely yet be surrounded by other people.
The distress of loneliness is associated with poor physical as well as mental health and it increases the chance of an early death. Having few social contacts is a risk factor for death in those with cardiovascular disease, for instance. Lonely people are more likely to be diagnosed with diabetes, according to Dutch research from 2017. And in older people it has been linked to higher blood pressure, a weakened immune system and cognitive decline.
In New Zealand, it is adults under 30 who are experiencing the highest levels of loneliness.
"When you look at our vulnerable groups, they match groups that are vulnerable for other reasons, such as our LGBTQ+ group and people with disabilities," says Cathy Comber, the founder of Loneliness NZ. "Also, a lot of loneliness is linked to people in poverty."
Comber set up the charitable trust, influenced by her experience of working as a telephone counsellor with Lifeline and realising some people contacted the crisis hotline daily.
"We were giving them 10 minutes a day, which for some would be a check-in and help to deal with social isolation rather than loneliness, but it couldn't actually change the way they were thinking," she explains. "I started exploring, looking for where a lonely person might get help, and in New Zealand I found nothing."
While Loneliness NZ is a relatively small organisation, Comber is focused on helping individuals and lobbying the government to improve the wider landscape.
"I've started a counselling practice, with loneliness as the focus. I have a very clear philosophy that I designed myself, after looking at a lot of literature," says Comber, who is working towards her master's degree in counselling with the University of Auckland.
Rather than the Lifeline approach, which involves an anonymous and brief intervention, Comber believes those suffering with loneliness need a personal connection and ongoing mentorship to turn their thinking around. Her organisation offers prevention programmes for groups as well as one-on-one counselling.
Physical signs of loneliness can include decreased energy and appetite, poor sleep and a tendency to get sick more often. Yale University scientists believe showering for longer with hotter water may also be a sign – the theory is there is a need to feel warmth on the body. Addictive behaviours can also provide a clue.
Though the pandemic has had an impact, during the first national lockdown, things were surprisingly quiet at Loneliness NZ, Comber says. "My feeling was that the message of kindness and the 'team of five million' approach really worked for people. We were all in the same boat."
Her view is this changed in subsequent lockdowns, as some parts of the country were more badly affected than others.
Comber continues to advocate for government interventions to tackle loneliness, while keeping a careful eye on what is happening overseas. In the UK, for example, the Government's Tackling Loneliness Network has launched multiple projects, including a #LetsTalkLoneliness campaign involving TikTok.
"We're involved with the Global Initiative on Loneliness and Connection, so we can see what is working in other countries and bring those ideas back to New Zealand," she says.
In the meantime, there are things we can do to help ourselves and each other.
“There is stigma attached to loneliness, so being non-judgmental is a good place to start. We should feel okay talking to people about loneliness. And don’t wait and wonder if other people are lonely: be open to somebody who initiates a conversation and take those small moments of connection.”
