If you want to feel good about our politics, I hope you’ve been keeping up with what’s happening in America. Do they have a Speaker yet? My favourite American liberal podcast host made a point that’s stuck with me – arguing that the best thing for Democrats is for media networks to “platform” Trump because his own crazy words are the best argument for voting for someone else.
This got me thinking, in the context of our own post-election comedown – are you sick of David Seymour yet? Christopher Luxon and Winston Peters? Before you damn me as a lefty-handwringer, I come not to bury them, but rather to speculate about the risks of pre- and post-election exposure.
How are you feeling about our national rugby team right now? Election fever was quickly replaced by rugby fever as the All Blacks either gave you the consolation prize or the cherry on top with their quarter-final win over Ireland. We haven’t been subjected to All Black faces plastered all over our national airline carrier this World Cup campaign but we’re seeing a lot of them and their surrogates on the TV. Is there a risk of overexposure?
And the reason I’m thinking about all of them is Taylor Swift. An article in Huffington Post asked, “Have we reached Peak Taylor Swift?” The cost of a concert ticket is clogging many an American credit card, and apparently, you can’t watch a football game without the risk of her being in the stands to watch her BF play. The question is, even if people adore you, can there be too much of a good thing?
These people – Swift, the political artists sculpting the knobbly shape of our next government and even our national rugby team – are all so ubiquitous that there’s the risk that familiarity breeds contempt.
The relationships we form with people we may never have met – but feel like we know from what we see in the media – are called parasocial relationships. For those of us with “real” friends, parasocial relationships can complement what we already have going for us. If we’re on the shy side, they can replace what we don’t have. Remember Covid lockdowns when we got to know Ashley Bloomfield like he was a member of the whānau?
But just like that favourite uncle can outstay his welcome, the same may apply to Swift. Huffpost quotes a number of experts on the psychology of parasocial relationships, who speculate not only that there can be too much of a good thing when that good thing becomes unavoidable, but also that the feeling of overexposure is enhanced by the grumbles of those people who didn’t shell out for the Eras tour, but can’t even avoid Swift at the football.
An upside, if there is one, is that I don’t think it’s necessarily bad for our health to invest our virtual friendship in Swift, Seymour or Sam Cane. They may not all be positive role models, but you’re unlikely to pick up some bad habits – a risk the research on parasociality suggests. Just as we conform to our real-life peers, these parasocial relationships can lead us astray, either by encouraging us to imitate them, or through the green-eyed monster of jealousy over what we don’t have. Overly engaged parasociality can also be a sign of other problems, such as excessive attachment to social media.
Although these not-real relationships may have some upsides, I can also think of some downsides. Philip Zimbardo, of the Stanford Prison Study, has lamented what he calls the “demise of guys”, placing the blame at the feet of the internet and specifically pornography – why get up the nerve to ask a girl out when you can vicariously enjoy staged and curated encounters without any of the risks (or rewards) of potentially being turned down?
