Chanel Contos didn’t set out to write a book. Instead, it started with an Instagram post asking young people if they had been sexually assaulted at school.
The response was rapid and overwhelming, so she launched a petition calling for more, and better, consent education in Australian schools. The petition was followed by the Teach Us Consent platform, where anonymous testimonies of sexual assault could be shared.
A year after that first Instagram post, ministers of education from around Australia agreed to introduce age-appropriate consent education in every school, annually, from starting school to Year 10. Contos’s work has earned her the Australian Human Rights Commission Young People’s Medal, in 2021, and the NSW Young Woman of the Year, in 2023.
Her book, Consent Laid Bare: Sex, entitlement & the distortion of desire, was released late last year. Here, Contos shares three things she hopes readers will take away from her book along with something she learned while writing it.
Rape culture is everywhere:
The more I researched rape culture and the pervasive influence of patriarchy revealed an unsettling truth — it is everywhere. The insidious presence of these issues is embedded in the very fabric of our culture, from some of my favourite songs to cherished movies I grew up with: the normalisation of harmful behaviours and attitudes became increasingly apparent. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it, and it makes the world feel different. It was a disconcerting experience underscoring the urgency of addressing these ingrained societal norms.
Small stuff snowballs:
The importance of focusing on the seemingly small aspects that contribute to the perpetuation of violence. It became evident that individuals who may not directly engage in violent acts are still integral to a broader system that enables such behaviour. Examining the subtle manifestations of complicity within this system sheds light on the collective responsibility we bear in dismantling structures that sustain violence. Researching and writing the book made it clear that tackling rape culture requires a bottom-up approach that addresses not only overt acts but also the support structures that allow them to persist.
Teach consent:
Perhaps the most profound revelation was the simplicity of the solution: teach consent and raise the newer generation with empathy. By instilling a deep understanding of consent, respect, and the impact of one’s actions on others, the likelihood of sexual assault diminishes significantly. This insight underscores the transformative power of education centred on empathy. If empathy becomes the cornerstone of societal values, sexual assault becomes an anomaly, and the entire edifice of rape culture begins to crumble.
An insight I gained since publication:
In the wake of publishing Consent Laid Bare, the outpouring of positive feedback has been both heartwarming and enlightening. Numerous individuals have shared with me how the book has not only resonated with them, but has also led to transformative changes in their lives. People have told me they ended toxic relationships, called out friends, disclosed to loved ones, reported previous experiences, and reflected on their own experiences.
One remarkable aspect of this journey has been witnessing the change within people when they are given language to articulate their own experiences. Many readers have expressed gratitude for being equipped with the vocabulary to describe their reactions to acts of sexual assault, the events they have encountered themselves, and the emotions they have felt around them. This realisation has deepened my appreciation for the significance of empowering people with the tools to communicate their stories, fostering a collective voice that transcends individual narratives.
Moreover, the feedback has reaffirmed my belief in the formidable impact of education as a preventive and validating force. Education, in the context of consent and interpersonal relationships, has proven to be a powerful tool not only in raising awareness but also in instigating cultural shifts. It is a means of prevention, offering individuals the knowledge to navigate relationships with empathy and respect.
Consent Laid Bare has become more than a book to me and many; it is a catalyst for change and a testament to the profound impact of understanding, empathy, and shared language in shaping a more compassionate and informed society.
Consent Laid Bare: Sex, entitlement & the distortion of desire by Chanel Contos (Pan Macmillan, $39.99) is out now.
Book takes is an exclusive Listener online column where authors share the top three things readers will gain from their books, as well as an insight into what they found during the researching and writing.
