KEY POINTS:
Thinking of turning someone close to you - or possibly yourself - into a sports prodigy?
I am. In my case, it's my daughter Scarlett. I've decided to include her in the decision-making process so last week I asked her what sport she would like to play.
"I'd like to play tennis," she said. Good answer. Tennis pays well, you follow the sun and it's a sport I've coached at snotty-nose level.
At three-and-a-half, Scarlett is the same age Steffi Graf was when her overbearing father Peter put her on a tennis court in Germany with a racquet that matched her for size. Personally, I believe it's better to start a toddler off with a fly swat. That way, you kill two birds with one stone.
In Steffi's case, she showed so much promise that Mr Graf sold his business and started a tennis school. Pretzels and ice cream were the rewards for Steffi's victories. She won her first professional tournament at 15. By that stage, she was possibly allowed strudel too.
Given Scarlett's hitting technique with a swingball bat endangers her hand as much as the ball, it's entirely possible Scarlett isn't the next Steffi Graf. Besides, my daughter's motivation is that she wants to play tennis with my girlfriend, so perhaps she's the next Martina Navratilova.
But with her fourth birthday closing in, maybe I've left it too late. Andre Agassi could serve on a full-size tennis court aged two. Still, burnout is a real risk in tennis and it's a cruel, solitary existence when you're being thrashed. Unless you're playing doubles of course!
Tennis is a tough sport to master because there's always someone hitting the ball back in hard-to-reach places. That's why the sport for prodigies these days is golf. The ball doesn't move. It's your toddler against the golf course. And eventually you could have a Wie on your hands.
Michelle Wie (whose sponsorship deals far outweigh her results) can retire loaded at 17. Meanwhile, 18-year-old Morgan Pressel became the youngest winner of a major.
Tiger Woods was himself a prodigy who appeared on hit '80s TV show That's Incredible as a five-year-old.
But the beauty of golf is that it gives also-rans a decent chance. Last month's US Masters winner Zach Johnson was (was) an also-ran.
By all means, try to produce (or be) a swimmer like Kristina Egerszegi, the 14-year-old from Budapest who won Olympic gold in the 200m backstroke against the butch East Germans, who weighed 20kg more than her. Talk about Hungary. She was bloody starving.
But since we're also talking kids, netball supercoach Lois Muir gave me some food for thought as I overtook her on the way to the club sandwiches at last week's draw for the world netball champs.
She said: "A player has to be comfortable in their own skin. You can't be anyone else, so you might as well make the most of what you've got."
These were wise words, almost Dalai Lama-like, that came from someone who is certainly comfortable in her own hair - the style hasn't changed for several decades.
I'll pass on her wisdom to Scarlett but sportspeople of all ages could learn from Muir. Be happy with who you are and keep your hair on.
Video in question
Chiefs centre Dwayne Sweeney appeared to score a try when he forced a bobbling ball with his forearm at Jade Stadium on Friday night.
But it was disallowed by video ref Vinny Munro, of Canterbury, even though it still looked a fair try in slow motion. The decision harmed the Chiefs' hopes of a bonus point, vital in the semifinal race.
Then on fulltime, Crusaders captain Richie McCaw dived over the line. The slow motion footage wasn't ideal but it looked as if McCaw had probably scored. This time Munro gave his fellow Cantabrian the benefit of the doubt, guaranteeing the Crusaders a home semifinal.
Honestly, should a local referee be in charge of what can be the most crucial decisions of the game/season? Answers to the NZRU please.
Not auld mugs
The America's Cup on TV is an insomniac's dream - interesting enough to fill time in the middle of the night and placid enough to induce sleep.
But a fortnight into the contest and Team New Zealand's obstacles are clear: other New Zealanders.
Former KZ7 skipper "Crazy Eyes" Chris Dickson is at the helm of Oracle, the only boat ahead of Team NZ in the Handbag Cup. Should Dean Barker and his crew beat Dickson's American boat, then Brad Butterworth (born in Te Awamutu, turns 48 on Wednesday) stands in the way aboard Swiss defender Alinghi.
Being Te Awamutu-born and having crazy eyes myself, I can relate to Butterworth and Dickson. But to paraphrase another Te Awamutu-born man, I hope they spend six months in a leaky boat.
Jumping the gun
Rabbitohs co-owner Peter Holmes a Court was seen congratulating his players on the sideline with six minutes to go and the Warriors trailing by eight points in Sydney last Sunday.
Warriors fullback Wade McKinnon scored with four minutes to go and when winger Todd Byrne touched down on the stroke of fulltime to clinch victory, Holmes a Court disappeared and was nowhere to be found.
He and fellow owner Russell Crowe, who have invested in a drum troupe in place of cheergirls, are now looking at hiring a fat lady to sing to remind them when the game is over.