The big story in British football this week has not been Wayne Rooney's rotten start to the season, Portsmouth's super start, or even David Beckham's tears after being axed from the national squad. No, the hot-button topic is the time-dishonoured practice of bungs.
What is a bung?
Basically a backhander, the sort of payment that made Arthur Daley's world tick in Minder. In this sense, it's a payment made to a manager or someone closely connected to the management of a football club to sign a player.
If, for example, the player signs for £5 million, the manager might receive an under-the-table payment of a few hundred thousand. You can count the ways in which this practice is dodgy, least of all the fact these payments don't show up on any tax returns.
Who is taking them?
According to a BBC Panorama investigation several managers, most notably Bolton wheeler-dealer Sam Allardycewhose son Craig is, by chance, an agent. Kevin Bond, then with Portsmouth and now assistant manager at Newcastle, was also named.
Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp and Chelsea's director of youth football, Frank Arnesen, have been accused of 'tapping up', or making illegal approaches for players.
The Allardyces look most squarely planted on the hot seat. Craig was accused by the programme makers of receiving secret payments for the transfer to Bolton of three players - Israeli defender Tal Ben Haim, Japan playmaker Hidetoshi Nakata and Omani goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi. Craig also told a BBC reporter that his father knew about these payments.
The late and legendary Nottingham Forest manager Brian Clough was known to be fond of a bung. In the book Broken Dreams, he is reported to have sent his assistant manager to motorway service centres to pick up brown paper bags full of cash from agents.
George Graham is the most high-profile casualty, being caught by the Football Association accepting bungs on a deal for two Danish players while he was manager at Arsenal.
Why are they in the news now?
Because the BBC screened its documentary last week, although several managers have known they were going to be "fingered" for some months now. Panorama reporters posed as potential investors with an American firm, luring prominent football agents into disclosing revelations about the practices of some managers.
Two agents, France-based Teni Yerima and Peter Harrison, said the Allardyces had accepted money from them.
What are the "bungees" saying about the allegations?
Not surprisingly, they are working the "deny, deny, deny" angle.
Sam Allardyce denies any impropriety and says he will not condone any breaches of FA conduct by his son Craig, no matter his personal affection for him.
Harrison said the payments to Craig Allardyce were legitimate.
Meanwhile, the agents claim they were embellishing their stories in order to gain more information on the potential investors - as you would.
Interviewed on-camera by Panorama, former agent Steven Noel-Hill said: "The game is corrupt... Bungs were the lubricant of the deals, so in my case - eight out of 10 - that means if that goes across the industry as a whole, 80 per cent of all deals have bungs attached to them."
What happens next?
The allegations come before a Premier League inquiry into illegal payments to managers by agents as part of transfers before it delivers its findings on October 2.
Meanwhile, accusation and counter-accusation will fly and legal writs will be tossed around like confetti. Projected outcome: A large rug will be found, along with a sturdy broom, and all this muck will be carefully swept under it.
Soccer: Season in turmoil as clubs dodge bung accusations
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