My old nan's favourite pun was always: "I opened the window and influenza." And with the transfer window opening next month in the English Premier League, you wonder which clubs and players might catch a cold.
The transfer window was introduced to put the EPL in line with the rest of Europe. Players can only be transferred during the close season and in the window, which lasts from January 1 to January 31. If you believed all the gossip about players moving during the upcoming window then at least 200 players will be traded.
However, there are some deals far more likely than others and to quote Eric Hall, the cigar-chomping football agent: "I don't think there will be any winter madness in the transfer market, with only about 10 to 20 players moving at the most."
So who's buying, who's selling and which players will move on?
The player most likely to be on the move is Southampton's James Beattie. Not only is he a much sought-after property, but the new Saints manager, Harry Redknapp, is desperate to sign some new talent. After his first couple of games in charge, Redknapp's view of his squad was fairly scathing: "I will have to beg, steal or borrow a few players because this group would not even get us out of the Championship (the old Division 1). If there is no money and it means selling in order to get in three or four who will make us a better team then I will do that."
Given that the Saints have only two realistically saleable players - Beattie and the goalkeeper, Antti Niemi, and he's not for sale - then it looks like Beattie will finally be on his way. But where?
Everton, flush with the Wayne Rooney money, are the early favourites at £7.5m, but Newcastle are reportedly willing to offer £5m plus the out-of-favour Frenchman, Laurent Robert. However, anyone who watched the Toon's latest capitulation against Liverpool will feel their needs lie more at the back than in attack. David O'Leary, of Aston Villa, may even be tempted to make a late bid.
Robbie Keane is second favourite for a move. Keane can't get a start with Spurs while Jermaine Defoe and Freddie Kanoute are in such good form, so the rumour mill is in action. Villa are favourites for Keane, with his transfer value rated at around £5-6m.
The third favourite to be packing his bags in the new year is Chelsea's Joe Cole. Out of favour, Cole would be an attractive buy for several teams. Spurs are the hot favourites, being desperately in need of a creative midfielder. This would reunite Cole with Kanoute, Defoe and Michael Carrick - four players who weren't good enough to keep West Ham up two seasons ago. The asking price would be around £5m, money which could be raised by selling Keane. On the other hand in-form Middlesbrough may enter the bidding.
Perhaps the worst-kept secret in soccer is that Rafa Benitez of Liverpool would like to bring in Real Madrid's Fernando Morientes. Despite helping Monaco to the Champions League final while on loan from Los Galacticos last season, Morientes has to wait behind Michael Owen even to come on as a sub at the Bernabeu. Morientes himself is keen: "To play for Liverpool would please any player and in Rafa Benitez they have a technical coach whom I have always appreciated." But Morientes would cost around £7m and his wages, at least £70,000 per week, could be a sticking point. Newcastle are now also interested.
If Liverpool fail to land Morientes then Nicolas Anelka could be on his way back to Anfield. The 'Incredible Sulk' is fed up with playing for Manchester City and wants a move to a big club. However, Barcelona are supposedly keen to sign him to replace the injured Henrik Larsson.
Two clubs who will definitely be looking to sign new players are Southampton and West Brom. Redknapp has been linked with a move for Eyal Berkovic, who is not getting a game at Portsmouth. Berkovic played for Redknapp at both Pompey and West Ham, so he is a known quantity.
Bryan Robson has had a dreadful start at West Brom, and recently said: "It always happens that bringing in a few new faces gives everybody a lift." Having watched their latest performance against Birmingham, Robbo may be looking for at least 11 new faces. The word is that he may call in a few favours with his old club Manchester United, and sign a few on loan - Djemba-Djemba and Kleberson perhaps?
Finally to a player who apparently won't be going anywhere in January - Robbie Savage. Former Welsh manager Mark Hughes was desperately hoping to take the Welshman to struggling Blackburn Rovers, but Birmingham co-owner, David Sullivan said: "He is not for sale and we will not accept any bid or transfer request during the transfer window."
Given that sort of vote of confidence, Savage might as well start packing his bags right now.
- HERALD ON SUNDAY
Soccer: Merry-go-round
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