KEY POINTS:
If it's prize hoiking you're after, then soccer is the sport for you. The beautiful game has an inglorious recent history of gobbing in the top flight, with the petulance of players seeming to rise alongside their inflated pay packets.
In 2003, Birmingham's Christophe Dugarry sent some spittle the way of Aston Villa's Joey Gudjonsson after a bit of verbals. His manager, Steve Bruce - while at pains not to condone gobbing at people - said: "It was like a Gallic gesture."
The European Championships of 2004 saw Italy's Francesco Totti spit in the face of Danish midfielder Christian Poulsen, during an otherwise dull 0-0 draw. The editor of La Gazzetta dello Sport was disgusted with Totti. "It's humiliating," he wrote, after Totti's foul deed. "A punch is much better, you can respond to a punch. This is just gross."
It's not just in the midst of the on-field melee that soccer stars feel the urge to expectorate. England star Wayne Rooney was, to use the lingo of the red tops, "quizzed" by police after allegedly spitting at paparazzi photographers in July.
Fans get among it, too. When Tom Hicks jnr, son of the American who bought out Liverpool FC, popped into the Sandon pub for a pre-match chat and a refreshing Budweisser with some fans, he copped a load.
After spitting on him the Liverpool fans showed their displeasure with the ownership regime by showering Hicks in lager.
But the undisputed King of Soccer Saliva is El-Hadji Diouf. While playing for Liverpool against Celtic in a 2003 UEFA Cup match, Diouf fell into the crowd where a Celtic fan patted him on the head. Naturally, Diouf gobbed in his face.
"I felt threatened and so I spat at the person who was threatening me," the striker later said. "Spitting was the only way I could defend myself."
Later, while proudly wearing Bolton colours, he spat at an 11-year-old Middlesbrough supporter. He can't even spit on people his own size.
The beautiful game, indeed.
An habitual hoiker, in 2004 Diouf hit the bull's eye with a dose of phlegm in the face of Portsmouth captain Arjan de Zeeuw.
Today, he's with Sunderland and is yet to share his spittle with anyone. Watch this space.