The English football Premiership went from the bizarre to the ridiculous at the weekend.
Birmingham's Jermaine Pennant became the first Premiership player to wear an electronic tagging device (round his ankle) during a game, when his side faced Tottenham Hotspur.
Pennant had just been released from jail following a drink-driving charge.
Given Spurs' form in recent years, the police probably kept better track of Pennant than Spurs did.
This was nothing compared with Newcastle team-mates Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer duking it out in a match where Aston Villa were supposed to be their opponents.
This is certainly not the first time team-mates have squared up to each other during top British football matches.
As a young Leeds fan, I was horrified to learn that central defender Gordon McQueen punched goalkeeper David Harvey.
The most famous fight probably came in 1979, when Charlton's Derek "Killer" Hales and Mike Flanagan had an amazing set-to during an FA Cup match. Both were dismissed, as was Hales by his club. In the mid-1990s, Hearts' Graeme Hogg was sent and stretchered off after clashing with team-mate Craig Levein, who was also dismissed.
It's difficult to like the snarling Bowyer, who instigated the Newcastle fight and has been involved in other thuggish behaviour on the pitch.
Bowyer in particular should have had the book thrown at him.
As for their futures - all will be forgiven by any club, including their present one, which thinks they might help it win games.
Unfortunately, the race for the Premiership title has not been much of a fight. Manchester United, Arsenal, etc, have hardly tested Chelsea. A potentially thrilling season has turned into a fizzer.
<EM>Chris Rattue:</EM> Premiership a first-class fiasco
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