There must be some sort of strategy discussion before potential Birdmen and Birdwomen jump off the wharf and sail through the air at the annual Birdman Festival in Russell. If not, there's no excuse for some of the costumes on show, unless conceived in haste the night before in the convivial atmosphere of too much Omata Pinot Noir - also known as getting rat faced and doing something stupid.
Take the Can of Baked Beans worn by Barry Price of Russell in last year's festival as an example. The cylindrical shape of a can could hardly be called efficiently aerodynamic and while a halo hat of orange balloons might give lift, at least to the hair, when they pop they create draft also known as fall.
But in the end it was none of these things that aided Mr Price's glide through the atmosphere. This canny little Russellite had a secret weapon, also known as a fart machine, which assisted trajectory to such an extent that he won the supreme award. He must have been as over the moon as a, well, cow which leaves one to assume that the said bovine when it did jump over the moon was methane-assisted, just like Barry's can of baked beans.
Mr Price, in fact, is one of the original entrants who has contested the event every year since 2006 and had not, until 2013, won the supreme award.
There are those who stroll leisurely to the leap. Take Rob Williams as an example. He aged dramatically as granddad to Gary Hooson's Mrs Brown and was promptly pushed off the wharf in a wheel chair for his efforts. Even the local doctor Ian Birch was moved to jump off the wharf but not before being serenaded by his wife to the tune of Pinball Wizard. Don't try this at home.
