Letter to the Editor, Thursday October 22, 2015

So many questions

I so hear where John Basset is coming from (No one knows, letters October 20). My son ended his life just a month ago in Paremoremo Prison. He'd been in Ngawha prison, where he knew he was close to home, whenua, maunga, iwi, hapu, and most of all whanau, including his eight siblings. Transported to Serco (Auckland) without notice a couple of times, known to him as a concrete box, couldn't see blue sky, green grass or smell fresh air, all things that were taken for granted.

He fought for his life as fights were randomly set up or organised basically every day. For the sake of staying alive he kept himself fit and healthy, both mentally and physically.

Unfortunately, whilst visiting at Serco, my mokos were unable to give their father cuddles or a peck on the cheek as he was kept in a viewing box, only able to clearly touch hand on hand on the glass window. On visiting the next day my moko said, "I hope I can give Dad a hug today." No such luck.

After writing to Serco, and help from MP Kelvin Davis voicing to media how badly managed Serco prison was, my son was returned to Ngawha. Sigh of relief, easy visitation by whanau. He was relieved to be at Ngawha prison. Great sense of humour, happy-go-lucky, well-liked by prison wardens and other inmates. Up until my son was sentenced he knew what the consequences were. He was willing to do his time.

Without notification on both sides my son was transported to Paremoremo. Four days within his arrival we received a phone call no one would ever expect. He had passed away. How devastating that morning was to us, all having to travel to Auckland to pick up our son from the mortuary.

How can? Why? When? No you must have made a mistake, all the questions, and still today or years to come we will keep asking ourselves.

I totally agree it is a poor reflection on our society or government, even on the law side, that our Ngapuhi sons, father, brother, nephew, uncle, cousin or friend whoever they maybe, they are just a number and sent away. Our prison here was supposed to be built to cater for our people. Something is very wrong with our present system. No wonder one is so stressed or disillusioned with life that they bring it to an end.

We are still looking for signs, but I'm not feeling guilty about letting my son down, as he knew we cared and loved him for who he was and not what he did.

With a heart of gold, our son was a very hard worker, committed, caring, respectful, gave clothes and shelter to total strangers. This I know because hundreds of friends, whanau, old, young, people of many walks of life arrived to farewell him.

Without the overwhelming support of our close Kaikohe community, whanau, kaumatua, kuia, friends, priests from near or far we would not have been able to manage the loss of our son, Anthony Francis Stillwell.

Our community so know what loss of life is because we have had three tragic deaths (suicides) as well as many more over this last month. They definitely have compassion and are very supportive.

I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts for the endless awhi, koha, food donations and many more. For being such a caring community.

To our families who have lost a loved one, kia kaha, kia maia, kia manawanui.

ANNE STILLWELL

Kaikohe