The academics have certainly had a field day. There is no doubt that tugging a pony tail constitutes common assault, as they say, but so does any form of unsolicited physical contact, no matter how benign or harmless, between one human being and another.
Only those who were in the cafe at the time can honestly offer an opinion, because only they can give the incident context. No one else knows exactly what happened, which is relevant, as some have had the grace to concede. Grace only goes so far for some though; former National MP Marilyn Waring has called for Mr Key to stand down until the incident has been investigated. One enraged, possibly deranged individual, clearly old enough to know better, opined that if Mr Key was not charged with assault it would be open season on every woman in New Zealand. It might be of concern to some that people like this are entitled to walk the streets without a minder.
And then there's serial litigant Graham McCready, who devotes himself to taking legal proceedings against those who offend him on behalf of us all. He is reportedly planning a private prosecution against Mr Key - notice how freely he spends our money demanding accountability from others - but he could become the hero for Key fans.
The risk for those who see this as a golden opportunity to seriously damage Mr Key's political career is that the great mass of New Zealanders, who seem to like him and think he's doing a good job and appreciate his 'blokey' persona, will turn on those who seek to oust him in favour of a different political order. At some point those who have not totally lost contact with all that is reasonable and rational might rebel against the seriously weird and wacky, and this could be just the issue to do it.
NewstalkZB's Mike Hosking got it right when he described the response from some quarters as schadenfreude, the wonderful German word (for which English does not have an equivalent) meaning taking pleasure from the misfortune of others. That's it in a nutshell.
And even those who have taken offence on Ms Bailey's behalf might concede that it is better to have a Prime Minister who presents as a real person, and a society that allows him to do so, than one who measures every word and action for the potential to offend. If that's the sort of country you want to live in you can take comfort from the knowledge that it is being constructed around us as we speak.
The tragedy of the outrage this incident has created in some quarters however is in its timing. We were preparing, almost to a man, woman and child, to honour those who served at Gallipoli, and in other theatres of war since, when we were invited to shift our focus to a matter of such little moment. It was still raging when unprecedented numbers of people took part in dawn services from Te Kao to Stewart Island on Saturday morning, when they pondered the role these men and women had played in creating the country we are today.
We spoke of courage, selfless sacrifice, commitment to a greater cause than the individual, willingness to die for a future that, try as some might to tarnish it, is available to all who live in one of the most blessed countries on the face of this planet. As Kaitaia Abundant Life School head boy Josiah Atkins told the civic service in Kaitaia, it was a time to think of the pain and suffering caused by war, and to grieve for all those who lost their loved ones.
Kaitaia College head girl Evangeline Liddicoat told the same service that the original Anzacs seemed to understand that freedom only survives if people defend it, that happiness has a price and nothing is easy.
Freedom, of course, does not have too many parameters here. Unlike many people in this world New Zealanders have the freedom to express their views, however silly, even hurtful, they might be. We cannot and should not have freedom for some and not for others. We are all free to make up our own minds, to protest if we are moved so to do, and to judge others by their words and deeds. Perhaps some should ponder their blessings, however, and consider how they might help build rather than tearing down.
The Far North welcomed 42 new New Zealanders at a ceremony in Kaitaia recently. Every one of them had made the conscious decision to live in this country as citizens rather than visitors, and to contribute to it. Every one of them saw real benefits to be gained from New Zealand citizenship, some of them coming from countries that do not enjoy the freedom we have here, the freedom that so many have given their lives for over the last century.
How blessed are we that we do not drown in our efforts to find a better life, as thousands have drowned in the Mediterranean? How blessed are we that those who do not support the establishment do not find themselves in prison, or dead? How blessed are we that minorities are not persecuted? How blessed are we that every New Zealander has opportunities and inalienable rights that many around the world do not have?
Those who have fought for us over the last century can be proud of the country they helped to create.
We have a clear obligation to remember and honour them, and the best way we can do that is to live our lives according to the principles they believed in and defended on our behalf. Sometimes we lose sight of that. Sometimes we should be ashamed of ourselves.
