RUGBY - Frustration knowing what North can do

Just before the Auckland rugby team started what was supposed to be a demolition job on their "Blues brothers", aka Northland, the female security guard casually leaned over and asked: "Excuse me, which Auckland team is this?"
The temptation to give her the reply she probably didn't need but certainly deserved was quite overwhelming. Quite honestly, she didn't actually get a reply - just a blank "Are you a muppet?" stare did the trick.
Unfortunately the Auckland team that turned up was the same one we have been watching on the box for the last few weeks; the one that has been casually dismantling all and sundry in the Air NZ Cup this season.
If only they had sent their cheerleaders instead. Or maybe even as well. That would have been pretty cool.
The question the ill-informed uniformed one should have asked was this: Hey mate, which Northland team is about to turn up?
Now that query would have got an answer.
Either the one that leaves all their brain cells in the changing rooms or the one that wows the crowd with one of those "do you believe this?" performances that keep the rugby flame burning in these parts.
The scoreline of this encounter tells which Northland team turned up at Homeworld Stadium on Saturday evening.
No wonder straight-shooting Northland coach Mark Anscombe has moments when he looks like he might self-implode. The sheer frustration of knowing what this team is truly capable of must be of mind-bending migraine material.
Turns out members of this Northland team were playing for one of their mates, Hayden Taylor, who was forced to retire with a serious neck injury midweek, and were so keyed up by the emotion of it all that they just launched into the game with a verve that made the result almost redundant. Almost.
Among the battered, sapped and bruised bodies afterward was Brad Taylor, the reborn lock and Hayden "Haggis" Taylor's non-related namesake, who had delivered yet another top-drawer effort from the engine room.
It was he who revealed the emotional motivation point the team used to lever their way to a gobsmacking 20-13 halftime lead.
"We had a lot to play for. Haggis was a big motivating factor for the boys. He has given a lot to this union and the boys wanted to put something on the park for him and couldn't quite pull it off," Brad Taylor said.
The first half included three scrums that overpowered the Auckland pack, two scintillating tries and a level of commitment that, if my mother didn't read this every week, would result in a string of joyous expletives that would make Ali G blush.
The first try was both cunning and calculated, featured Fetu Vainikolo and finished with a brutal headlong dive at the tryline by David Holwell.
The second, scored by winger Glenn Martin, was an exhilarating touchdown manufactured with absolute precision.
But Auckland produced a slick second half to win the game, led by captain Sam Tuitupou and loose forwards Daniel Braid and Jerome Kaino, and helped in no small measure by questionable calls from the referee.
Second-half tries to prop Chris Heard and fullback Brent Ward put Auckland in front with a buffer made big enough with kicks to Isa Nacewa.
The tragedy of this encounter was that a popular touchdown to prop Tony Coughlan late in the game did not produce the bonus point they both deserved and desperately require.
But, if nothing else, the game has set up a mouthwatering clash with Hawke's Bay next week. But even Anscombe is wondering who will turn up for that hit-out in just five days.
"It would have been nice to get a point out of that. We more than deserved a point out of that. The boys fronted up today, but that's one of our challenges. They don't do it week-to-week," he said.
"I thought the referee was (expletive) average to be honest. I thought Brent Ward's last try was from a knock-on from Brad Mika back on halfway right in front of him (the ref). He pinged us a couple of times and I question that.
"They (Auckland) are a good team and deserve to win it. We need all of those things going for us to compete."
You could hardly blame him for using a naughty word.
Everyone else at the game was too, as in: That was (expletive) good.