Wyn Drabble: Resolved to forgo 2016 resolutions

Wyn Drabble.

Have you broken it yet? No, I don't mean your Christmas present; I mean your New Year's resolution.

Even at this early stage in the year, many will have failed, especially if their resolution was one of the old favourites: lose weight and get fit; quit smoking; learn something new; eat healthier and diet; get out of debt and save money; spend more time with family; travel to new places; be less stressed; volunteer; drink less.

When I said "old favourites", I was talking about those most often broken and I'm not making up this list. It comes from Time, a very reputable and serious magazine which doesn't even have horoscopes or wordfinds.

I suppose most people could have guessed the top one. Wellness and acceptable weight are easy to think about after the season of champagne, beer, wine, crackling, stuffed turkey, Christmas pudding, pavlova, scorched almonds and Christmas cake. Easy to think about, harder to do something about.

As Greg Tamblyn said, "If you make a New Year's resolution to eat a healthy diet, and you keep it, you won't actually live longer, but it will seem longer."

The list of the most popular diet foods from a different but related survey makes interesting reading. When you get past the first two, I'm sure the next three will tell you which country was surveyed: 1. Fresh fruit. 2. Raw vegetables. 3. Popcorn. 4. Snack bars. 5. Diet shakes.

Only in America! The ingredient list on those last three would make horrifying reading and might include potassium bromate or propyl gallate. You would be in little danger of finding natural food ingredients.

Quitting smoking is only good for smokers. Unfortunately I was one decades ago but I think that, after 30 years, I can safely say I've kicked the habit.

A well-worn joke suggests that the Irish have set up a group called Smokers Anonymous; if you get the urge to smoke you call them up and they send round a bloke for you to get drunk with.

Learning something new is an easy one. I would resolve to learn the French for resolution.

The fourth one sort of overlaps the first one so no more discussion is really required though some sort of TV-advertised exercise machine probably is. It can be stored under the bed where it will gather dust until you put it on Trade Me.

Getting out of debt and saving money is easier said than done. According to some bright spark, "there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves." It might pay (ha) to get professional advice on this one.

And so to volunteering which is sort of like community service for people who haven't done anything wrong.

Obviously it depends what you're volunteering for. In retirement I might volunteer to play music at nursing homes though I am conscious of a fellow musician's experience. At the end of his set, he said to his audience, "I hope you all get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "We hope you do too."

Finally in the top 10, drinking less.

I'm with those whose resolution did not make the top 10. Their resolution was not to make a resolution - the in-one-year-and-out-the-other school of thought.

I've been totally successful so I think I'll drink to that. Perhaps the Irish could send over a bloke to smoke with me.

-Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.