Wyn Drabble.
Please do not be alarmed but the latest nutrition news is that green tea might not be that good for you.
That's right, green tea - the trendy one, the one that health-conscious people drink.
I know it gets confusing because nutritionists keep doing research and coming up with findings which contradict the findings of the research done a couple of weeks earlier by different nutritionists. But I'm here to help.
I will try to guide you through the labyrinth of findings and let you know what you can and can't consume. I'll even try to reach a conclusion.
But, before you start reading, you'd better tip that green tea down the sink; if you drink it, it could cause problems with your thyroid. So, just what is a thyroid?
Well, I thought it was some sort of marine mollusc but a quick check of Wikipedia has proved me wrong. It is in fact a gland in the human neck and it affects your growth.
News flash. We interrupt this green tea shock horror bulletin to bring you the latest finding about wine drinking.
Researchers have found that pinot gris is a "lighter style" favoured by many wine drinkers while oak-aged chardonnay is somewhat "heavier" so can cause unwanted weight gain.
The same researchers found that too much of either wine can cause you to slur your words or possibly tip over.
Back to the green tea drama. The researchers advancing this thyroid theory have offered, as evidence, the fact that cultures where a lot of green tea is consumed (such as Japan and China) generally have smaller people.
Apparently they tested their theory on mice and it was obviously very scientific because the report states that they gave the mice a "fair amount" of green tea. In dear wee cups, one presumes.
Even more scientific were their bar graphs which definitely showed that something was going on with the rodents' thyroids after they were given a "fair amount" of green tea.
We interrupt this story to bring you breaking news. Researchers have found that chocolate is very moreish, so moreish in fact that they forgot to record any data so they're going to have to do it all again. More to come.
And here comes another. Researchers in Belgium have confirmed something that many of us have suspected for some time - that kale tastes awful.
I have some growing outside and it will keep growing taller then go to seed because we are definitely not consuming any more of it.
I know there are those who say it is delicious deep-fried but that seems to negate the purpose of eating a "healthy" vegetable.
So, if green tea depresses the thyroid, what of black tea? Well, much the same, say the researchers though they don't state whether they gave their mice a "fair amount" of black tea.
As I have written this, I have consumed a "fair amount" of coffee. Bad for me, you ask? Well, it depends which research you live by.
I live by the research that says, "Coffee may have health benefits, including protecting against Parkinson's disease, type 2 diabetes and liver disease, including liver cancer. It also appears to improve cognitive function and decrease the risk of depression."
Stop press: The wine researchers have reversed their earlier findings. Apparently some of the data got muddled.
From all of this we can safely deduce that you can produce data to prove almost anything you want.
That said, it is still important to consume something daily from each of the major food groups: chocolate, wine, coffee and tea.
All good things in moderation, I say (though sometimes I lapse and have a "fair amount").