Wyn Drabble: I heard it on the 'gripevine'

Use of apostrophes remains a major concern. Pictured, a bus stop advertisement in 2008 for the University of Canterbury that features an incorrect use of the apostrophe in the word 'its'.

Yes, it's time once again to look at language misuse that irritates people. I know it irritates them because they write to me and it is a comfort to know that I'm not the only pedant in the world. Far from it.

Here I will not be discussing the old favourites as I've covered them plenty of times; "criteria" instead of "criterion"; "I" instead of "me"; "vunerable" for "vulnerable"; "alternate" instead of alternative"; "amount" instead of "number"; "unique" instead of "unusual"; "ironically" instead of "interestingly"; "the reason being is that ..."; gratuitous apostrophes. All of these will continue to irritate.

I will make an exception for one irritant, however. I have discussed this before but it is clear from correspondence that it is still a major concern so let's have one more shot at eradicating it.

One method which might work is hitting offenders over the head with a bulky dictionary every time they do it.

Not that it's a dictionary issue but it would still be a good use for a publication which may have fallen into disuse because of the internet.

The issue in question involves the definite article and its insertion in front of various New Zealand regions. Chief targets appear to be Waikato, Wairarapa and Hawke's Bay.

Once on a flight from Christchurch to Napier, the steward announced that we would shortly be landing in "the Hawke's Bay". When he came past with the boiled lollies I very politely pointed out that he had erred in the matter of our destination.

The look on his face clearly said, "What a curmudgeonly old buffoon. I wish I hadn't offered him a lolly". I took two.

During our approach over the Hawke Bay, then the coast of the Hawke's Bay with a view of the Ahuriri out the port window, I'm sure he gave absolutely no thought to his use of the definite article. Perhaps he was a visitor from the Auckland, the Canterbury or the Wellington.

I'm not saying it's an issue big enough to take to the John Key but it's still important to get names right, don't you think, the Mr Keys?

Other irritants communicated were "sign off" for "sign" and "roll out" for "introduce" (as in launching a new product). One of my own gripes is "grab" ("I'll just grab a cup of tea" or, on the phone, "I'll just grab a pen").

Then there was a complaint about "3am in the morning" and the incorrect use of "that" instead of "who" or "whom". And another about the use of "irregardless" for "regardless".

I agree with those who complain about "expresso" instead of "espresso" or "lie" instead of "lay" and vice versa.

And I certainly agree with those who complain about the overuse of question marks and exclamation marks.

One does the job yet I have seen up to 13 exclamation marks after a statement in a reputable magazine. Thirteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"They" used after a singular ("If a person wants help, they have to ask for it") really gets my horned ruminant and I don't care if some declare it acceptable. It's horrible and should be punished - perhaps the bulky dictionary again.

As usual, I would like to finish this pedantic rant with some Engrish to lighten things up.

A professionally painted sign in a Korean Air boarding area says, "Please be noticed that high class have priority for check-in. Thank you for your hot cooperation."

I'll leave you with this message written on a Chinese cap. The English is beyond help but the Engrish is fun: "I read abook in the mouth and spiny bumps."

Only in the China!!!!!

- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.