Wyn Drabble: Brainy ideas beggar belief

Wyn Drabble.

'There's nowt queerer than folk" (or the variant, "There's nowt so queer as folk") is a favourite expression of mine. My gut feeling is that it comes from Yorkshire but I can't guarantee that.

On a daily basis, we see excellent examples of folk doing stuff that's hard to comprehend. Some commercial coffee folk, for example, are currently running a competition to see which folk can come up with the best coffee flavour. The winner will be $20,000 richer.

Now, call me quaint and put me to one side if you will but the best coffee flavour is coffee. No question. To add hazelnut or caramel or toffee or armadillo shavings is merely to take coffee further away from what it is. You might as well flavour pork sausages with Jaffas.

Then there's Brexit. Google Trends (yes, we are constantly being watched) reported that searches in the UK involving the British referendum peaked in the 24 hours after the results were officially announced. The most searched question was, "What does it mean to leave the EU?" They were asking after voting.

They sound like the sort of folk who, if they lived in America, might vote for a pumped-up, trumped-up presidential candidate then Google his name to find out what they've done. "Oops!" they might say.

On the local front, the recent news that displays the truth of the adage most clearly is the hoo-ha over Mike Hosking, the petition to have him removed from TVNZ and the counter-petition not to remove him.

Lawyer Dan Wayman started the petition to oust Hosking. One can't help wondering whether his bright legal mind ever suggested to him that there are other channels. Or an "off" button. He could even go and read a book by a writer he doesn't like.

There is no such thing as a person, a film, a writer, a food that everybody likes. Why doesn't this legal eagle accept that other people enjoy Hosking's methods (the defence produces, as evidence, the counter-petition) and there is no compulsion to watch or read or eat something you don't like?

I don't care for the Hosk much either but I'm not signing the petition. Why do people torture themselves by watching or reading stuff they hate? Beats me.

I can't stand TV programmes involving cupcake competitions but I'm not going to start a petition about such TV fare. I know I can just switch over to something like a fabulous gypsy wedding Love Island survival programme instead.

If Mr Wayman also dislikes broccoli, he should sit down with a plateful and eat it while watching Hosking on TV. Then he would really have something to complain about. He could organise TWO petitions. Even three, if he doesn't like Eminem.

Or he could combine them into one: "Hosking's attitude and comments continuously (sic) cause offence, upset and disdain (sic) to reasonable and innocent people, both viewers and non-viewers of TVNZ. PS: Also, I don't like broccoli so it should be banned in this country. Eminem too."

Wayman is currently Shanghai-based. I would have thought there were a lot more human rights issues in China he could fight for.

A Wayman supporter from Waiheke Island posted the comment, "I can't bear to watch this man (Hosking)."

I have staggeringly simple advice for this person: don't.

Paul Henry has divided people too but, again, it's very simple to deal with; watch him if you like him and turn him off if you don't.

Ladies and gentlemen, good folk of the jury, I rest my case. There's nowt queerer than folk.

- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.