Wyn Drabble: All in a froth over fairies

Did you ever have one of those moments when you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and sit bolt upright because an Important Matter is weighing on your mind? It's a bit like leaving the house and then wondering whether you left the iron on. Only darker.

So it was the other night that an Important Matter roused me from my slumber. No, it wasn't related to the Government's offer of selling me something I already own (nice little earner, that one). It didn't even involve Hekia Parata.

What I urgently needed to know in the middle of the night - and I'm sure many of you have been waiting for clarification on this one too - was: what is the difference between a pixie and a fairy? Many possibilities ran through my mind: were pixies male and fairies female, for example?

Then there were other confusing elements. Is an elf the same or different? And if it's the same, is it the same as a pixie or a fairy? Or both? I thought about goblins too but, because of the rather negative connotation, I dismissed them as not being pure enough to be classed as pixies. Or fairies. Or elves (Q: Where do you find elves? A: It depends where you left them). And, another thing - what turns a goblin into a hobgoblin? What a night I was having! Then my worry widened. What about nymphs, brownies, dwarfs, hobbits, trolls, gnomes, kobolds, flibbertigibbets, imps, sprites, gremlins, leprechauns, clurichauns and pigwidgeons?

The dictionary simply clouds the issue. It simply offers one of the other names to define the one you look up. A hobgoblin, for example, is defined by Mr Concise Oxford as "a mischievous imp". That does not help.

It also defines a goblin (ie a hobless goblin) as "a mischievous ugly dwarflike creature of folklore". See what I mean!

You may be saying I should worry more about issues such as North Korea. I do. But that doesn't stop me worrying about the bigger issues too.

Daylight brought some peace. I was able to see the issue in a far more positive light. In short, I was able to celebrate the rich tapestry that is our language. Even if we move out of the fairyland woods, we can find the same rich array. Look, for example, at the number of words for a disturbance: brouhaha, kerfuffle, fracas, hubbub, hullabaloo, melee, pandemonium, racket, rumpus, ruction, pother, shambles and Novopay. A splendid selection!

Move to euphemisms and an even more fabulous array awaits. If we haven't closed a zip, friends can tell us we have a medal showing, our shop door's open, Johnnie's out of jail or we are low-riding. There is also a plethora of words which are simply fun to say because, like fine wine, they have a pleasant mouth feel. Take a moment to enjoy saying ululate (lament loudly), tintinnabulous (pertaining to the ringing of bells), susurration (murmuring), gobbledygook (gibberish), flummery (mousse-like dessert or meaningless chatter), absquatulate (flee, abscond), bibliobibuli (those who read too much) and quidnunc (a busybody or gossip). Better still, imagine Rowan Atkinson saying them. On that note, I'll head off to fairyland slumber now, so goodbye. Or farewell, adieu, toodle-oo, adios, ciao, cheerio, ta ta, so long, later, bye-bye, au revoir, see ya ...