Penny Honey didn't think twice before offering her eggs to produce this beautiful baby boy.
Penny Honey didn't think twice before offering her eggs to produce this beautiful baby boy.
It's not unusual for Penny Honey's clients to pour their hearts out to her while having their brows cosmetically tattooed. But when a grieving mother shared her recent story of loss, it touched her enough to help give her a baby.
Honey, a cosmetic tattoo artist, was pregnant with her fourth child when Anna* came in to have her eyebrows redone. Before long, Anna's story unfolded; three weeks earlier, she had tragically lost her only child, her 6-year-old daughter, to brain cancer.
"We spent the whole three-hour session bawling our eyes out and bonding over the loss of her daughter. I was probably about eight months' pregnant at the time and, in my emotional and very hormonal state, said, 'If you ever need anything, I'd be happy to help you have a baby'," she said, adding that the couple were in their late-40s.
It was nearly a year later when Anna booked for a brow refresh and admitted, mid-session, that she wasn't really there for the tattoo.
"I wasn't expecting it but I kind of was," said Honey, 34, of Anna taking her up on her offer.
"I didn't at all regret saying it that year earlier and, me being me, said, 'Of course I will', while, again, wiping away the tears."
Honey's partner and four children, now aged between 3 and 13, while apprehensive, were supportive of her decision.
Surrogacy was considered. However, Honey's past two pregnancies had slight complications so she decided against it but she was more than happy to donate her eggs.
Of the IVF process, Honey said she "had a fair idea of what to expect, but not specifics".
Late last year she began the process which involves more than a month of psychological and medical screening before being shown how to administer daily hormone injections to induce ovulation of multiple eggs for 12 days of her cycle. It was a huge success and 25 eggs were harvested.
Although it came with risks of side-effects, Honey had few.
"There were no issues at all up until the day of harvest. The harvest itself was completely pain-free, and we joked about the recipients soon needing a mini-van like mine! Then the drugs wore off and I felt very crampy, and was quite bloated and a bit worse for wear for two to three days."
Harvesting involves an ultrasound-guided needle inserted into each mature follicle to retrieve each egg. Several eggs are then fertilised in a laboratory with the recipient partner's (or donor) sperm. An embryo (fertilised egg) is then transferred into the recipient's uterus.
In Honey's case, they produced 10 high-quality embryos.
Throughout the process, Anna had also been synchronising her cycle with Honey's through medication in preparation for the embryo implantation. Although the first transfer was unsuccessful, the second month was and a pregnancy was under way.
"We all couldn't be any more excited and would be texting back and forth for the coming months," Honey recalled. "We remained quite close throughout the procedure and had lunch dates on a few occasions."
On September 14, Honey and her partner's sixth anniversary, she drove down to Auckland for the birth to which she was invited. However, due to Covid restrictions of only one visitor a day, she was denied visitation.
"I was so disappointed. I sat there for about five hours before they reluctantly said okay, I could visit for 15 minutes. And by that stage it was after 3pm and I had to get back [to Whangārei] to pick up all my kids from after school care. But at least I got to see a photo and give him some presents."
The baby boy Honey had help make was born healthy at 2.5kg (5Ib 6oz).
"The mother had placenta previa and slight breathing complications," Honey says of the baby's smaller size. "But, other than that, he was perfectly fit, strong healthy and feeding well."
She met him the following weekend and described it as "completely surreal".
Penny Honey's children are, from left, Tame, Ta'noa, Amarlie and Te Maika, with the baby their mother helped produce.
"I felt a strong connection, absolutely. He looked a lot like me, actually he was the spitting image of me, which was odd because all my other babies looked nothing like me!
"But he's definitely looking more like his dad now; he has these beautiful bright blue eyes and gingery hair, he's very cute, which I think is so cool because the last thing I'd want is for them to have a child that looks just like me and nothing like them."
Honey was asked to be the baby's godmother and they have regular visits.
"I've offered to have him on the occasional weekend so they can have some sleep. They are so overjoyed, smitten and in love. He sleeps, eats and does everything right. Their beautiful late daughter was so sick from day one and it was a really rough time for them so I think, for them, having a new baby who does all the right things and doesn't need extra attention, is really beautiful for them."
Honey shared her story on her social media and business pages, The Brow Academy & TruYou (her employer), to which she had some women reach out and ask if she'd consider donating again.
"I did start to wonder what I'd begun," she admitted. "Then things quietened down."
Until she was contacted by a couple, also in their late-40s, who had been trying to conceive for around 12 years, undergoing IVF and suffering miscarriages of their own.
"They'd left it to have a break when they saw my story and the age of my recipients and thought maybe they could try just once more too with a donor.
"I think it was just the right timing. My partner and I had made the decision to not have any more babies of our own. We've very much shut up shop, so I think she just hit me at the right time."
Several weeks ago, Honey began the IVF process once again. This time, 14 eggs were harvested with 10 fertilised and, apart from a few headaches, said she was feeling great. Now with seven embryos frozen and ready for transfer, her job is done.
"It's more the strain on work and family, having to tie in scans and blood tests around work commitments as some are done in Auckland," explained the selfless mother. "But otherwise, I would really encourage everyone and anyone who can, to please consider donating as the current wait time in New Zealand is over two years. One in five kids in the classroom, are IVF babies. That blew me away."
Contact Fertility Associates for further information.
