Remembering Geoff Thomas who lived life to the fullest - John Williamson

Geoff Thomas lived by the mantra “It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission”.

We farewelled a good man last month, a guy who will be forever remembered for his deeds at Kiwi North, but also as he witnessed the planting of a tree in his honour before he passed.

Geoff Thomas was a legend, the epitome of a good Kiwi bloke who would do anything for you. And the “anythings” are spread throughout the 25ha park that is Whangārei’s Museum and Heritage Park.

Many of Geoff’s deeds were well documented in a recent Northern Advocate feature by Mel Williams.

It was great that he was able to hear that read to him on his final afternoon. About 10 days before, Geoff and I had a long chat.

There were things he still wanted to have done and Geoff had this mantra, “It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission”. At that stage he wasn’t too worried about forgiveness or permission.

There are a number of things about those last conversations that have given cause for reflection.

In the past nine months I have delivered four eulogies, two of which were for people passing before their time.

It is curious that many nice things are said at funerals that the person concerned would have appreciated hearing while they were still there. We are fortunate that Geoff Thomas was able to hear how much he was appreciated before he met his maker.

Geoff’s conversation about what he still wanted done caused me to reflect on a book I read a little while ago – Bronnie Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Bronnie is an Australian author who, in spending significant time working in palliative care, developed an understanding of what a lot of people wish they had done while they were still able, and which were expressed to her. Her book summarises these regrets as:

- I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

- I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends.

- I wish I had let myself be happier.

You’ll need to read the book for an explanation of each of these regrets but I want to reflect back on the Geoff Thomas mantra “It’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission”.

That saying may be a bit enigmatic to those brought up in the corporate world, where organisation structures and personal idiosyncrasies are part of the territory, and where having permission is the way things get done.

Curiously though, that quote is attributed to Rear Admiral Grace Hopper, an American computer scientist and mathematician.

She was a pioneer of computer programming who rose to significant prominence in the American Navy in the post-war, mid-20th century. In 2016, she was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honour, by President Barack Obama, who called her, “Amazing Grace”.

She was a formidable woman who didn’t play around asking permission, encouraging her people to take chances and backing them when she knew the rightness of what she was about.

That doesn’t mean that Geoff Thomas was ambivalent to any authority. He acknowledged the rules. He took people with him in going ahead, making sure the right thing was done in the interests of the Kiwi North public.

It’s better to cross the line and risk any consequences, than stare at the line of regrets for the rest of your life. Rest in peace Geoff Thomas, you taught us a thing or two.