Positive role models vital to guide youth

Helping Whangarei's troubled youth "ain't rocket science" - it boils down to providing good role models, says youth agency manager Lou Davis.
Mr Davis runs Te Ora Hou Northland, a multi-faceted organisation dedicated to helping at-risk youth like those who have been the focus of the Advocate's Killing Time series.
He's used to seeing young people come in to Te Ora Hou with their shoulders hunched, their heads down, avoiding eye contact and communication. Some have horrific backgrounds, and have witnessed or been subjected to terrible violence.
"They think this is their lot in life," he says.
Te Ora Hou is based on Christian principles but not linked to any church. The Northland branch started in 1981.
Young people are often referred by Child Youth and Family or police, having been from agency to agency before arriving at Te Ora Hou's offices at The Pulse in Raumanga.
"You hear their stories and think `how did you get this far?'."
But those young people were simply "displaying what they'd been role-modelled", he said.
"What we try to do is give an alternative."
He said 99 percent of young people were "doing okay", some just need "a bit of awhi (help)". And a small number needed a whole lot of help.
Mr Davis said research showed that to move successfully from adolescence to adulthood, young people needed "six adults of significance" in their lives.
He says we all need to realise we have roles to play in our community, and without realising it we might even be someone's "adult of significance". Role models could be "everyday people", such as teachers, employers or neighbours who happen to show an interest. Or they could be specially trained youth workers and volunteers at Te Ora Hou.
"The workers that we have, particularly the youth workers, are involved with their everyday lives. They go to watch Saturday sports, and family events." Sometimes they're the first person to do so.
That's unusual in a world where social workers, psychologists and other service providers are usually strict about not "crossing the line" between professional and personal relationships.
But Mr Davis says, "you can't be a youth worker nine to five", you have to be a good role model around the clock.
Through education programmes, mentoring, new experiences and all round support, Te Ora Hou, tried to give people the opportunity to "lift their heads" beyond their expectations.
Staff recently asked a group of young males to list the qualities they thought made a "real man". The youths said things like "staunch" and "rich". They then listed the qualities necessary in a "real dad". They said things like "does what he says" and "is there for you". The exercise helped them see that by modelling themselves on the "real man", unless they changed, they would never become the "real dad" they'd like their own children to have.
Mr Davis said young people today were more violent than in the past.
When Mr Davis was young, it was common to have a "dust up" then walk away. Young people now went much further.
"They have a punch up, someone gets on the ground and they put the boot in. It doesn't stop. People explode and lose it."
Violence was "snowballing" from generation to generation as a culture of "staunchness" grew.